An activity you can do to start on positive road of Enchantment:

What are some golden moments in your childhood when you felt particularly happy? These moments can be from any age, from your earliest memories through early adulthood. When you find a golden memory, enjoy it. See yourself at that age and experiment with letting different senses reconnect to that happy time. Can you remember way your body felt? Can you remember what activity you were engaged in? Were there any smells? What was weather like? How did things look around you? What did your mood feel like? Take time to really enjoy this happy memory of yourself.

I wish you a joyful journey. I hope that your life feels whole and that you find your past, whether beautiful or painful, a repertoire of talents and capabilities is that are uniquely yours. I hope that your talents, capacities and potential will give you a sense of well being as they thrust you into world in meaningful ways.

Barbara Becker Holstein, Ed.D., is a psychologist in private practice. Her book, THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy, published by Harwood Academic Press, is now available at your local bookstore. (The Sources, February 1999)

Cry. If you feel like crying, give yourself permission to do this.

Write or draw from this feeling place. Don’t censor yourself, let feeling do writing or drawing.

Say out loud what you need to say to someone.

Tell someone supportive how you are feeling.

It's too much for me. I can't take it any more. What do I do?

1. Comfort and reassure yourself:

Talk to yourself as you would a friend. Be gentle and kind.

Reassure yourself with whatever you need to hear, for example, "I’m okay, I’m safe."

Curl up in a comfortable chair/bed with a blanket, a warm drink, a good book, or watch a show on T.V.

Do something nice for yourself. Treat yourself to something special, take a bubble bath, go to a spa, get a massage.

Talk to a supportive friend. Ask for what you need.

2. Take a break from your feelings:

Sometimes feelings become overwhelming and you need a break from them. This doesn't mean denying that they are there, only that you need a break and will come back to them later when you are rested. After taking a break, it is important to come back to your feelings. They may have changed, and that's okay.

Create a safe inner place. Let your imagination create an image of something(s) that represents how you are feeling right now. It may be concrete or abstract. Take your time, let your imagination develop this fully. Then imagine a protective bubble around this image, separating yourself from it. Look at image. Notice that it is still there, but separate from you. Your feelings are still there, but you are not in them right now. You have a choice, you don't have to be in your feelings right now. Let yourself take break that you need. Taking this break will mean that you will be better able to deal with them later. You may want to imagine yourself in a safe place -- any image that you choose.

Remember times when you felt good. Let yourself relax and get comfortable. Breathe gently. Remember a time when you felt good, loved or calm. It could be something that really happened, or something that you create, like being near a waterfall. Imagine being in this situation or with this person, and feel all of those pleasant feelings. Feel your body shift from what you were feeling, letting those feelings go. Let yourself feel more relaxed, comforted or at peace. Stay with this memory or image until you feel really connected to it.

Exercise vigorously. This can help you to relax, feel energized, and generally feel better.

Do something that relaxes you.

Do something that absorbs your attention fully. This can help you to shift out of how you are feeling.

Get a change of scenery. If you have been at home or in same room a lot, maybe you need to get out, even if only for a walk around block. Change your patterns. If you always go home after work only to feel stuck in your feelings, maybe you need to do something different -- go see a concert, a movie, or have dinner out, something that makes you feel good. Doing things to take care of yourself alone may be better than going home alone.

It's not always easy to stay with your feelings, but it can be rewarding when you do.

© Kali Munro, 2000. http://www.KaliMunro.com