Examples of Emotional Intelligence from Popular SongsWritten by Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ Coach
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5. The Baptism of Jesse Taylor (The Oak Ridge Boys) / Social Responsibility, Self-Management, Authenticity
From now on Nancy Taylor can proudly speak to neighbors and tell them how much Jesse took up with little Jim. Now Jimmy’s got a Daddy, and Jesse’s got a family, and Franklin County’s got a lot more man.
6. Rhythm Guitar (The Oak Ridge Boys) / Interpersonal Skills, Teamwork
He’s written a song about what’s gone wrong, and I’m singin’ it to you now. Nobody wants to play rhythm guitar behind Jesus, Everybody wants to be lead singer in band. It's hard to get a bead on what's divine, when everybody's pushin' for head of line.
7. He’s Gonna Smile on Me (The Oak Ridge Boys) / Resilience, bouncing back and retaining hope and trust through adversity
I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Often there were times when I had to go without. I’ve been called a fool, and used just like a tool, but I still believe in Golden Rule. And right now I’m so happy as I can be.
8. Tell Him (The Exciters) / Communication, Verbal and Nonverbal
Take his hand in yours and tell him that you’re never gonna leave him. Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now.
9. Rose-Colored Glasses (Jon Conlee) / Learned Optimism, which is not always reality-based
These rose-colored glasses that I’m lookin’ through, show only beauty, ‘cause they hide all truth, and they let me hold on to good times, good lines, ones I used to hear when I held you. And they keep me from feelin’ so cheated, defeated, when reflections in your eyes show me a fool … these rose-colored glasses …I’ll just keep on hopin’, believin’ that maybe by counting many times I’ve tried, you’ll believe me when I say I love you, and I’ll lay these rose-colored glasses aside.
10. Come a Little Bit Closer (Jay and Americans) / three Fs – fight, flight or, canoodle ? (from reptilian brain comes those powerful ones -- territorial defense, aggression, violence, lust and fear)
She was sitting there giving me looks that made my mouth water, so I started walking her way. She belonged to that man Jose, and I knew, yes I knew, I should leave, but then I heard her say, “Come a little bit closer, you’re my kinda man, so big and so strong, come a little bit closer, I’m all alone and night is so long." We started to dance, in my arms she looked so inviting, and I just couldn’t resist just one little kiss so exciting. Then I heard guitar player say "Vamoos, Jose'’s on his way," and I knew, yes I knew I should run, but then I heard her say ...
©Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, http://www.susandunn.cc . Emotional Intelligence coaching, teaching, training, and assessments. Susan is the author of “How to You’re your Life with Emotional Intelligence and other eBooks available at http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary,html . Mailto:email@example.com for FREE eZine.
The Tiger & the Tiger Within: Roy Horn and MontecoreWritten by Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ Coach™
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To this, we evolved neocortex, crowning glory of homo sapiens. Or is it? Magnificent as it may be, it has its limitations. The lower brain will always rule, emotions will always take precedence, because they’re necessary for survival. When we experience fear – and in today’s world our fear can be totally symbolic (your boss yelling at you) – we get “hijacked.” We are “flooded” with emotion which is specifically designed to shut down our “thinking” (our ability to reason) and we act, i.e., we act without thinking.
We are constantly at risk of tiger within us becoming confused and primitive, like Montecore, and doing something we would not ordinarily do.
Montecore has been performing for many years. Something went awry, something was different, and he reverted to self-preservation tactics, by all reports. In fight or flight, he decided not to attack anyone, but to get himself and Roy to safety. If he attacked Roy, same principle applies and we will never really know.
Something emotional happened, and among mammals, emotions are contagious. You know this if you’ve been in a newspaper office day they announced it was closing, or been around when someone got chastised in public.
Was it something with Roy, same thing that caused this magnificent physical specimen to slip and fall? His birthday? Wondering, as I do, why fascination with “big hair.” (How many friends of mine have told me their cats love to lick hair-sprayed hair… or did it look like “fur” to Montecore?) Was he overly tired and less able to concentrate – having celebrated his birthday, or being about to? Was he preoccupied with thoughts of Big 6-0 on horizon?
When Roy fell, it was something Montecore had never seen happen on stage before. If he was bonded with Roy, he may have feared for Roy, who knows. But it was change – big change – that thing that throws all of us. Then stage hands rushed out, more commotion … fear. One reverts. Bad things can happen. We can hurt people we love. We can hurt ourselves.
Prey as we are to tiger within, all we can do is be aware, and to learn to manage. This is Emotional Intelligence. And this, Roy understood about his beloved tiger. It wasn’t Montecore’s “fault”…nor do we routinely “blame” animals, lacking a neocortex as they do.
However, in regards to humans, we continue to battle this out in courts, and in our own hearts and minds. It is for sure we never want that to be said about us. That “I didn’t mean to kill her, I love her,” or “I don’t know what came over me,” or “That wasn’t like me.”
We are as capable of as serious injury to others as Montecore is, and when we disable our neocortex, we are left with same equipment Montecore has.
Our prayers are for all concerned, including show’s workers, described as “family,” who must also cope with possibly losing their jobs, another EQ dilemma. Because we are humans, our brains are often at odds with one another and we suffer conflict, guilt and shame.
As one worker said in news, it was awful to be worrying about herself at that time, but she was a single mother and it was her job. Let us say means of preservation for herself and her children. We must keep learning about our emotions. As Childre and Martin say, “The emotional frontier is truly next frontier to conquer in human understanding. The opportunity we face now … is to develop our emotional potential and accelerate rather dramatically into a new state of being.”
Photo of Roy with baby white tiger: http://www.siegfriedandroy.com/news/images/sprint_commercial.jpg
“Look for magic that is around you in nature, flowers, and all animals that share this planet with us.” Roy Horn
©Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, http://www.susandunn.cc . Emotional coaching to positively impact all areas of your life – career, relationships, transition, learning, leadership, resilience, self- and other-management. Take The EQ Foundation Course©, and visit the eBook Learning Center: http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html . Mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org for FREE eZine.