There is no morning without that first cup-of-joe.

Hot coffee and cold cream are good for you. My 100-year-old grandmother says so.

If you ask, “coffee, tea, or me?” be prepared for response: “a double, skim, with extra foam.”

Decaffeinated teas and sodas may well have their merits, decaf coffee has none.

The glass half-empty or half-full question is ridiculous. Never drink coffee from a glass!

Lovers, desserts, coffee ... indeed many things are better rich.

Given enough coffee, I conspire to rule world.

Any romance begun in a coffee shop stands a chance of success; you are presumably both sober and lighting is better than in a bar.

© Deb Voss Quail and Roxanne Vincent

Dear Rock,

I done went and tried one of them there suggestions you put in your ezine. Cause my truck only gits 3 miles to gallon I would like to git better mileage.

I hooked up an air hose to pump up my tires, but it took too dang long. I decided to go inside store and git a beer and some lottery tickets while I waited for it to pump up.

Well don't you know it that there tire got too much air in it and done went and blew up!

Pieces of tire done flew through window of that filling station and broke that big window in front. Children screamed. Car alarms go off and people run for cover cause they think it's another one of them terror attacks.

My lawyer done tole me that I should tell you that he's suing you for bad tips.

Sincerely,

Billy Bob Ray Bob

Of course I would have to respond to this.

Dear Billy Bob Ray Bob:

I find it commendable that you want to increase your gas mileage. If my truck only got 3 miles to gallon, I'd want to something to increase my gas mileage too. The recommendation was to inflate your tires to air pressure recommended in your owner's manual, not to blow up your tire and scare children.

- Rock

If you're looking for a fuel efficient car, check out www.fueleconomy.gov.

For lowest local gas prices, check out gaspricewatch.com and www.gasbuddy.com.