Is it anyone’s fault that chemistry or connection isn’t there? Of course not! There is nothing wrong with either Katie or Rick. The connection just isn’t there for Katie. She couldn’t make it be there. She ended up saying to Rick, “You are a really terrific guy. I wish I felt connection with you that I want to have with a partner, but I don’t. It’s not your fault – it’s just not there.”

Whether or not Rick felt hurt by this is really up to him. Katie can’t take responsibility for how he feels. If Rick has belief system that not everyone will feel connected with everyone, he will not feel hurt. If he has belief system that if a woman doesn’t connect with him, there is something wrong with him, he will feel hurt. His hurt will come from his belief system, not from fact that Katie broke up with him.

Ending a relationship gracefully means speaking our truth without blame or judgment and not taking responsibility for another’s feelings. Randi, another one of my clients, recently told me that she was able to tell truth rather than give herself up to avoid hurting someone. A friend had introduced her to Barb, thinking that Randi and Barb had a lot in common and could be good friends. Randi got together with Barb and felt no connection. In fact, she felt opposite. While Randi felt that Barb was a sweet person, she also felt Barb’s energy pulling on her in various ways. While some people might not mind needy energy, or even find it endearing, Randi didn’t like it at all. She was pleased with herself because she was able to tell Barb that she just didn’t feel a connection with her. Randi was able to let go of taking responsibility for Barb’s feelings if Barb felt hurt by this.

Is there always a way of breaking up or saying no to a relationship without someone getting hurt? No. But by gently speaking your truth, you can gracefully end a relationship, and if you accept that another’s feelings come from his or her belief system, then you won’t feel guilty if other person feels hurt.

If you are like most people, what you experienced is a wonderful feeling of aliveness. Rarely do we allow ourselves opportunity to enjoy moment. But moment is only reality we know. It is exactly way it should be and it cannot be anything more than that.

But we repeatedly make it out to be different. And by doing so, we have lost opportunity to fully experience rain, children playing, learning to be achieved by listening to world seen through a grandparent’s eyes, or a friend sharing one of his or her own moments. Too often we are too caught up in what will happen, or what has happened, to experience what IS happening.

This is not to say that planning for future is unimportant, or that reminiscing is not useful and enjoyable in itself. But unfortunately, too often we become entangled in a future that has not happened and become stifled by our predictions.

We run from saber tooth tiger that no longer exists in our modern day world. The tiger has been replaced with confronting a friend, giving a speech, driving over a bridge, or feeling discomfort from changing a habit. We create absolute horror from an uncertain future that we make real in moment.

Staying in moment awards you opportunity to see world as it is, not as you believe it should be. It allows you to observe truth, to look at real data, not information couched in fears and anxiety.

And it is this truth, which will allow you to enjoy yourself, others, and world around you. Because, it is exactly as it should be. You can manage any life event that presents itself. Why?? Because everyone does. You can choose to do it with pain or without pain. The evidence for these statements is present in moment.