I believe that we come into this life with a specific purpose and that part of bringing that purpose to fruition is to undergo certain experiences or life lessons. I also have a theory that first half of our life is about learning our lessons and second half is about putting that knowledge into practice in service of others (fulfilling our life purpose, if you will).

Does whatever is happening feel familiar? Can you remember other times in your past when you felt this same way? What pattern do you recognize? If there is a sense of familiarity around what is going on, then it is very likely a life lesson. This is a definite opportunity to learn lesson once and for all, since life lessons tend to keep presenting themselves to us so that we may learn them.

Feel calmer? Take inventory. What do you need in order to complete this lesson? Sometimes, awareness of pattern or life lesson is all we need to break cycle. Sometimes we need to take concrete action or develop and build skills to strengthen ourselves or an area of our life. There are times when we just need to understand that experience is linked to our life purpose, that by having that experience we will be better prepared to more effectively fulfill our life purpose. If that is where you are, then figure out how to start expressing your life purpose.

5. Where do you need to take action?

Are there a number of people pushing your buttons? What is common thread on what is going on? Recently, a client had 6 different situations that were bringing him down. We started by discussing each one, but pretty soon a pattern of feeling not in control and not respected started emerging. We looked at his life and identified a major area where he was feeling frustrated and it was causing him to lose self-respect. He realized that this was real area that needed to be addressed. The primary difference between this and a recurring life lesson is time element. All of situations are concentrated now, not spread out over a lifetime.

Feel calmer? Identify what action you are going to take and when. Then do it. Also, write one postcard to all individuals who were pointing out situation to you following guidelines above.

6. How does this serve you?

Sometimes a difficult situation that drives us mental provides us with an unseen payoff. For example, a client was frustrated because her daughter and new husband often seemed to be at loggerheads, fighting over spending time with her. As we examined this, she realized that benefit she was experiencing was to feel special because they were fighting over her. In fact, she was able to accept that she was creating situation in order to feel special. (That is enlightened aspect we talked about earlier).

Feel calmer? A postcard is in order here, thanking individuals involved and releasing them from their contract. Identify other ways to get that same feeling.

I hope you find this helpful. As a final note, I wanted to mention that emotional response tends to be different than feeling in that feeling is current. It exists in present and unites you to present. Emotional reaction appears to be triggered by a present event, but in fact is seldom related to present. It usually has a lot more to do with past or future, and contains a sense of powerlessness.

(3) Rewrite your history.

Let strong (perhaps adult) you rewrite this event and release negative emotions around it. Visualize situation, but this time have person act in a loving, nurturing way, way you would act if you were that person and in that situation. [This is very likely way you do act. Our past experience tends to make us extremely sensitive when we see situations that resemble a negative memory. We tend to go out of our way to make sure that others aren't encumbered with same negative beliefs.] If you find it hard to reframe memory, then visualize it as it happened, but this time you (the strong you) step in and comfort you (often child you) it happened to. Say all things you wish someone had said to you right away. Remember, you are not trying to change past as much as changing your reaction to it.

(4) Release old energy.

Very often, rewriting your history is enough to let go of negative memory that is limiting you today. You may, however, need a little more work to be completely free. Sometimes it is good to finish this exercise by writing a letter to person involved. In this example, it would be to your 3rd grade teacher. Just start with Dear Mrs. Pringle, and let yourself be free to write everything you're feeling. This is usually a mix of emotions, but don't forget to include a thank you. Part of who you are today is because of this situation. It may have made you more caring and more sensitive, so be sure to include that as well. The important thing is to include all your feelings. When you've written all there is, BURN letter. Release entire episode into universe. Remember that this is about you and not about other person. You may choose to share experience with them after you burn letter. If they are still a part of your life, you may want (or feel a need) to do that. But, whether you do or not (and you don't need to for this to be effective), you will notice a change in your interactions with them next time you see them. You'll be free.

(5) Shortcut Step: Clean out your fridge!

Let's end where we started. Double effectiveness of cleaning out your refrigerator. With each item that you toss, create intention of releasing old beliefs, situations or people. With each item, say something like 'As I release this old food, I release all old hurts and negative beliefs. I am free.' As you play with this, phrase that will have most meaning and effectiveness for you will evolve. Use it everytime you throw something out and notice how your life starts changing.