Emotional Intelligence: The Basics

Written by Michael G. Rayel, MD

Continued from page 1

When he gets angry, he just can’t control himself. He yells, bangsrepparttar door, throws fits, and punchesrepparttar 105763 wall. In addition, he calls his wife names and puts her down. Eventually, he has physically harmed Cynthia. Due to his uncontrollable anger and physically abusive behavior, Cynthia has decided to file a divorce.

In this example, Richard has failed to recognize his ongoing anger and its associated behavioral consequences. Because of his inability to recognize his anger and consequent behavior, he has failed miserably to contain his anger despite signs that his wife doesn’t want to put up with it. In addition, he has failed miserably to recognize and understandrepparttar 105764 feelings of Cynthia. How could he? He can’t even recognize his own.

Emotional intelligence can therefore become an important tool at home and at work. By learning its basic tenets of self awareness (knowing one’s emotions), self management (controlling one’s emotions), social awareness (recognizingrepparttar 105765 emotions of others), and relationship management (social skills), people can make use ofrepparttar 105766 emotion to advancerepparttar 105767 positive cause of our families and communities.

Copyright © 2005. Dr. Michael G. Rayel – author (First Aid to Mental Illness–Finalist, Reader’s Preference Choice Award 2002) psychiatrist, and inventor of Oikos Game: An Emotional Intelligence or EQ Game. For more information, visit www.oikosgame.com and www.soardime.com

The Sheep Syndrome

Written by Ieuan Dolby

Continued from page 1

In some limited cases people are perceived by others to be different. Neighbors may huddle and talk aboutrepparttar family that lives at No29 because they just don’t fit in withrepparttar 105762 street as a whole. Butrepparttar 105763 family at No29 has another agenda to follow, they forsakerepparttar 105764 ‘street’ circle for another social or work group to which they will fit in very well and will thus be sheep, tied to that group for their ideologies and trends.

There is a debatable 1% of society that manages to be different and for them life is not so easy. The man who decides that he doesn’t want to drive a car, yet works as a car mechanic might be viewed as weird byrepparttar 105765 rest ofrepparttar 105766 world. He would also find it totally impossible to find suitable employment in that field even though he isrepparttar 105767 best mechanic available. He just doesn’t conform. The pregnant mother who tellsrepparttar 105768 hospital staff that she doesn’t want a scan of her infant will be talked about in hushed whispers byrepparttar 105769 nurses and doctors, treated at a distance simply because she does not want that which is prescribed by an establishment. But researching these acts of stand alone behavior may at first glance seem worthy but deep downrepparttar 105770 sheep syndrome will rear its ugly head. The mechanic who refuses to drive might be an outcast amongst all other mechanics, with his wife, neighbors, etc. but he will probably be a sheep of another social group. He might be a member ofrepparttar 105771 local cycling club, a member of Greenpeace orrepparttar 105772 anti-car society! The pregnant mother who refusesrepparttar 105773 scan may not be so alone after all as back home is a mother and family that fully supports her decision.

True individualism is hard if not impossible to find. At first glance little acts of transgression do surface especially amongst those who can afford to be different, who haverepparttar 105774 power or position to ward offrepparttar 105775 sneers and snide remarks that are synonymous with stand-alone behavior. Pop stars, actors and politicians. The singer who first smashed his guitar on stage did something unusual, yet he left that stage and snorted drugs and abused groupies just likerepparttar 105776 rest of his social group does. The actress who first bared her breasts on screen stepped outside of acceptable moral behavior, yet afterwards she returned to her mansion andrepparttar 105777 party that she was hosting. The conservative politician that dared to suggest that he liked to buy organic food went home to his three-up two-down detached house where his wife and 2.3 kids awaited his return.

Individualism takes courage even if it is only a minute transgression away from that which is deemed acceptable. But what is notable aboutrepparttar 105778 1% of society who transgresses briefly is that their small wayward behavior breeds in time to become fully acceptable behavior. That one daring escapade on stage withrepparttar 105779 guitar produced a horde of musicians queuing up atrepparttar 105780 local shop to buy spare guitars andrepparttar 105781 actress who bared her breasts soon found out that every other actress was romping naked and that she had been left behind. Oh, and that politician that had mentioned organic food soon found himself atrepparttar 105782 back of a very large queue atrepparttar 105783 local organic greengrocers.

The true individual who does something that is far-and-away outside ofrepparttar 105784 normal, that is not a copycat of any social or work group and that is unknown or just plain different finds life very hard indeed. Words are bandied around like hermit or recluse. Prodigal sons and black sheep flit around followed by scowls and hushed words andrepparttar 105785 more different these people arerepparttar 105786 harder they find it to exist. Generally everybody has to follow or be part of a social group just to be able to survive even if atrepparttar 105787 very leastrepparttar 105788 group’s main existence is to be different. Simply by joiningrepparttar 105789 “be different group” its members are conforming simply through agreeing to be different.

The only real individuals who are totally and independently different are those who are dead or live in isolation wards atrepparttar 105790 local mental hospital.

Author and Webmaster of Seamania. As a Chief Engineer in the Merchant Navy he has sailed the world for fifteen years. Now living in Taiwan he writes about cultures across the globe and life as he sees it.

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