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We’re all human. You know how easy it is to hold a grudge, or assign blame. Sharing gems appropriately can help each employee begin to shift their perceptions of
situation, and more importantly, of each other. To deliver polished gems, try to:
•Act soon after hearing
gem •Paraphrase accurately so
words aren’t distorted •Ask
listener if this is new information and if changes her stance •Avoid expecting
employees to visibly demonstrate a ‘shift in stance’ (it happens internally and on their timetable, not ours)
4.RECOGNIZE POWER
Power is a dominant factor in mediation that raises many questions: What is it? Who has it? How to do you balance power? Assumptions about who is
‘powerful one’ are easy to make and sometimes wrong. Skillful conflict resolvers recognize power dynamics in conflicts and are mindful about how to authentically manage them. You can recognize power by being aware that:
•Power is fluid and exchangeable •Employees possess power over
content and their process (think of employees concerns as
water flowing into and being held by
container) •Resolvers possess power over
mediation process ( their knowledge, wisdom, experience, and commitment form
container) •Your roles as an HR professional and resolver will have a significant impact on power dynamics
5.BE OPTIMISTIC & RESILIENT
Agreeing to participate in mediation is an act of courage and hope. By participating, employees are conveying their belief in value of
relationship. They are also expressing their trust in you to be responsive to and supportive of our efforts. Employees may first communicate their anger, frustration, suffering, righteousness, regret, not their best hopes. You can inspire them to continue by being optimistic:
•Be positive about your experiences with mediation •Hold their best wishes and hopes for
future •Encourage them to work towards their hopes
Be Resilient. Remember
last time you were stuck in a conflict? You probably replayed
conversation in your mind over and over, thinking about different endings and scolding yourself. Employees get stuck, too. In fact, employees can become so worn down and apathetic about their conflict, especially a long-standing dispute; they’d do anything to end it. Yes, even agree with each other prematurely. Don’t let them settle. Mediation is about each employee getting their interest met. Be resilient:
•Be prepared to move yourself and
employees though productive and less productive cycles of
mediation •Help
employees see their movement and progress •Be mindful and appreciative of
hard work you all are doing
Hopefully, you’ve discovered that these are your own habits in one form or another and that your organization is benefiting from your knowledge. You can learn more about workplace mediation and mediation in general from these books and websites:
The Power of Mediation Bringing Peace into
Room Difficult Conversation: How to Say What Matters Most www.ne-acr.org (The New England Association of Conflict Resolvers) www.mediate.com (mediation portal site) www.workwelltogether.com (conflict management toolkit)
"Mediation is based on a belief in
fundamental honesty of human beings. Which is another way of saying we all want to be treated justly - that is according to our unique situation and viewpoint on
world. And we cannot expect to be treated justly if we do not honestly reveal ourselves." ~
Honourable Neville Chamberlain, British Prime Minister 1937

Dina Beach Lynch, Esq. is a mediator and conflict coach who launched WorkWellTogether.com Formerly Dina was Ombuds for Fleet Bank where she assisted 48,000 employees to resolve work tensions. Dina can be reached at Dina@workwelltogether.com