Then, once you find him or her, follow five suggestions below to build a relationship:

1. Don't melt into other person, but instead be strongly yourself.

The more you are yourself, stronger your bond with other person has a chance of becoming. That is if each of you -- being yourselves -- enjoys being with other.

2. Don't try to be nice and don't give just to be loved or liked. Just be.

In a long-term relationship, one that hopefully will last for rest of your life, you want to just be and have that be enough, have that be appreciated. So just be in beginning -- it will either be good enough, maybe even extraordinary, or not.

3. Don't rely on each other too much.

Don't need each other to fix life, emotional or financial problems. Emotions and loyalties get confused when new partners try to save each other. Keep relationship clean and be together because you want to, not because you need to.

4. Slow way down.

Take relationship very slow. Savor each milestone: first time you hold hands, first kiss, first afternoon spent together. Don't rush in search of holy grail of "relationships." If you end up together, these "firsts" will only happen once. If you don't end up together, you are more likely to end relationship sooner and more cleanly if you have not rushed in headfirst.

5. Build a friendship.

Building a good friendship takes time, effort, risk, communication, compassion, honesty. Do it - it is this friendship that will serve as a foundation of your relationship.

Now doesn't this sound better than cycle of finding love and then losing it again?

Your Relationship Coach, Rinatta Paries www.WhatItTakes.com

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

One idea to clue others in to your current work load is to keep a very visible dry marker board near your desk or in your office. Use it to write down tasks or projects you're working on. Check off items completed and leave one's yet to be finished on board until you've done them. Add new requests to board as they come in. A visible check-list will keep you from procrastinating on simple tasks -- acting as a constant reminder. And, you might deter someone from giving you another project if it's obvious you've already got more than you can handle.

Pass buck when buck needs passing ============================ If your task and assignment list is built from internal office assignments and a new request comes in from your supervisor, use their authority to your favor. Allow them to adjust your priority list for you. Allow them to bump a project or move back it's deadline. If necessary, allow your supervisor to take responsibility for promises you can't keep to others (if they are reason that you can't). If you do that -- it is very important that others are notified of schedule or deadline changes and that changes were made by those in authority over you. This will relieve you of unnecessary pressure and stress. Is this passing buck? If you were in a car accident that was clearly not your fault, knowing all of implications that go along with responsibility, would you take blame for it? Probably not. The same should hold true for less complicated situations.

Put yourself in their shoes ============================ What if you ordered a product as a holiday gift -- if it didn't arrive in time because company couldn't meet demand of orders, wouldn't you rather them be upfront and honest and tell you no -- that they can't delivery gift in time? Think about how upset you would be! Think about how upset others would be if you took on more than you can handle and didn't have time or energy to fulfil request.

Maybe that anti-drug campaign slogan "Just Say No" should get a new face for 21st century. Instead of bumper stickers, maybe it should be printed on coffee mugs or flash as screen savers. And if we find ourselves still struggling to say no when we've already maxed out our to-do list, maybe we can just add it to to-do list as priority number one.