Domestic Violence: The Fact Behind The Myths

Written by Scott Shaper

Continued from page 1

"Alcohol drug abuse, stress, and mental illness cause domestic violence"

     This is not true, but is commonly used as an excuse from abusers who try to pardon their actions, and unfortunately their victims buy into this. Alcohol use, drug use, and stress do not cause domestic violence; they may go along with domestic violence, but they do not causerepparttar violence itself.

"Domestic Violence is a personal problem between a husband and wife"

     Domestic violence goes way beyond justrepparttar 138706 two immediate people involved. Look into a child's face that sees this violence everyday. Then go visit that child about 10 to 15 years later and see what they have become. If they are male, they will most likely become domestic abusers themselves. If they are female they will most likely become domestic victims themselves. Why? Learned behavior; this was their environment growing up, and to them, this is just acceptable behavior that people do. It takes a very strong person to come out of that type of environment and not have it become part of their adult lives. A child who lives with domestic violence will never forget it.

"If it were that bad, she would just leave."

     Leaving a domestic violence situation is not so easy. Many times children are involved andrepparttar 138707 victim may not have any financial means of supporting themselves. Not only that, but they may fear that they will be killed if they leave. As strange as it may sound, some have a real psychological bond with their abuser, and just won't leave. I have had many instances were we arrested an abuser andrepparttar 138708 next morning his victim is begging us to release him and recanting her story. This is one ofrepparttar 138709 reasons whyrepparttar 138710 law has changed in many states. Now it isrepparttar 138711 state notrepparttar 138712 victim, who prosecutesrepparttar 138713 domestic abuser.

"I can change him."

     This thought isrepparttar 138714 worst. For anyone who thinks this, readrepparttar 138715 following carefully NO YOU CAN'T! I have heard this so many times, all from victims who are beaten time and time again. Domestic violence is way too complex for any one person to handle, or fix. You have to either escape it, or have some sort of professional intervention. I would highly recommend escaping it. I have yet to see anyone who has stated this, ever change their abuser.

     In closing I want to make one point clear. Even though in this article I referred to males as beingrepparttar 138716 abusers. Females can be abusers also; it is just not as common. In my book "Crime Awareness 101" I go much deeper into domestic violence. I addressrepparttar 138717 law,repparttar 138718 cycle of violence, and some domestic violence traits to look out for early on which should raise a red flag. I also list numerous resources of agencies that are devoted to helping victims of domestic violence. I also cover many other crimes and crime related topics, for more information, or for more articles on criminal behavior go to

Scott Shaper is a former Police Officer and the author of "Crime Awareness 101." For more information about his book, or more articles on crime related matters please go to

Should You Wear Cropped Pants?

Written by Diana Pemberton-Sikes

Continued from page 1

The least flattering cut tends to berepparttar drawstring look with straight or flared hem. While many women choose this style for comfort, it creates a rectangular block of fabric from waist to hem, visually adding pounds and subtracting height. If you are petite, heavy, or have thick ankles, this style will magnify all of these things.


The most flattering hem for most women is plain and tapered. The least flattering is flared with a cuff. The former will elongate,repparttar 138689 latter will shorten and widen.

If you're a bit heavy and feel that a tapered hem makes your hips or upper thighs look bigger, try a straight leg style instead. Do NOT opt for a flared hem to try to offset your hips - unless you want to lookrepparttar 138690 same size from hips to hem.


For years,repparttar 138691 ballerina flat wasrepparttar 138692 shoe of choice to wear with cropped pants. In recent years, high heels, sandals, slides, and flip-flops have found their way on torepparttar 138693 team as well.

Your best shoe choices create an unbroken line from hem to toe with minimal material that compliments -- rather than competes with - your pants. Shoes that arerepparttar 138694 same color as pants, white, or flesh-colored are all good choices.

Avoid chunky, heavy shoes, or shoes that compete with your hem. All of these will call attention to your feet, chop you up visually, and make you look shorter.

Cropped pants are a great warm weather alternative to shorts for those chilly nights, dressy casual occasions, or for women who just hate to bare their legs in shorts. They look great on women of many heights, sizes, and ages, provided they're chosen with care.

If you look for styles that flatter your figure and elongate your body, you'll look great AND stylish. So don't necessarily cross these off your list. Just take a little time to findrepparttar 138695 looks that work best for you.

Have designer tastes but a discount budget? Diana Pemberton-Sikes has helped thousands of women create a stunning style on limited funds with her fun, fresh approach to fashion. Sign up for her popular weekly ezine at

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