Dog Poo ( Turd Tales )

Written by Birmingham UK Com

Continued from page 1

German police are now stepping up patrols in order to catch these offenders. However,repparttar poo could hitrepparttar 118100 fan if they ever tried to bring them to court. It is unclear what they would actually charge them with as there is no law against using doggie poo in this way. In fact, you could fly any flag from any piece of turd you find lying around. It’s not illegal but it cannot be a pleasant task. Surely this wouldn’t catch on over here inrepparttar 118101 UK – would it? If you can write - Pay us a visit

Birmingham UK Com website.


Written by B. Blitterlees & E. Craboon

Continued from page 1

February 10: SHOW & TELL DAY (okay it’s about time to haul out your really neat travel slide show of your trip to Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan with spell-binding commentary!)

February 11: THE-RIGHT-WAY-TO-DO-IT DAY (remember what Mum taught you to use a knife and fork, or other vital stuff like how to install a toilet paper roll correctly)

February 12: FIRST-IN-LINE DAY (finally an occasion celebrating persons whose surnames begin with “X”, “Y” or “Z” everyone else, kindly step torepparttar back ofrepparttar 118099 line!!)

February 13: FREE LUNCH DAY (now you can call in your markers and collect all those outstanding IOUs you’ve been saving for a rainy day – WOW are you ever lucky!)

February 14: SLINGS & ARROWS OF OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE DAY (how else do you expect to bewitch a beautiful beast; and no chocolate unless it’s made of soy or tofu twat)

February 15: FLY YOUR OWN FLAG DAY (now where did I put that “Jolly Roger”?)

February 16: GONAD GAMES DAY (better known as 'potentate pissing contests')

February 17: RED DEVIL AWARENESS DAY (time to sprout horns, wear red tights and carry a booming great pitchfork to scarerepparttar 118100 heck out of your favorite Nemesis naturally)

February 18: DR. SEUSS APPRECIATION DAY (hint: try raidingrepparttar 118101 kids’ room because you’ll need allrepparttar 118102 help you can get just to speak in riddles and rhymes all day long)

February 19: HOPSCOTCH AWARENESS DAY (time to go back to elementary school at recess time; hope you can hop, skip and jump...if not, you'd better hire a kangaroo)

February 20: FINGER FOOD APPRECIATION DAY (fee fie foe fum’s especially good news for weight-watchers, picky eaters or those wanting to ditch dishwashing duty)

February 21: CHOCOLATE ICE-CREAM FOR BREAKFAST DAY (in honor of taboo treats parents tell you not to eat forrepparttar 118103 first meal ofrepparttar 118104 day or you’ll suffer a fate worse than death)

February 22: GALOSHES, GUMBOOTS & GO-GO BOOTS (time to pay homage to forgotten fanciful footwear worn by damsels-in-distress or those devil-may-care types)

February 23: DIVESTMENT AWARENESS DAY (time to indulge in nothing but Naked Truths... especially if it involves a tale about an unappareled Emperor ...without so much as a figleaf to his name)

February 24: FAKE IT OR FLAUNT IT DAY (the only day you get to act any way you please, provided of course you’re willing to pay forrepparttar 118105 consequences of your foolish little escapades)

February 25: PITY POT DAY (time to trade or toss your troubles away… in a trashcan?)

February 26: MENTAL FLOSS DAY (the only occasion you can tell allrepparttar 118106 “Knock-Knock jokes” you want without anyone threatening to arrest you for verbal harassment)

February 27: BREAK OPEN THE PIGGY-BANK DAY (no time likerepparttar 118107 present to splurge on a great cause; just make sure it’s your money there Ms. Socialite or Mr. Spendthrift)

February 28: SMALL PLANET APPRECIATION DAY (ever wonder whatrepparttar 118108 world would be like without Venus and Mars gumming uprepparttar 118109 works and making fools of themselves?)

Compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees (in polite circles referred to the Duchess of Dither) and edited by Lord Earl Craboon (better known as the Duke of Doorknobs), both loyal members in the Court of The Quipping Queen (

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