If you ask most clients what kind of facilitator they'd rather have, one that seems professional or one that can get them results they're after, I think you know what typical reply might be.

A story of "Professional" facilitator. About 15 years ago, college where I worked was going through quite an upheaval. Everyone was upset about something, including feeling unheard by administration. I had just been to a conference on "shared governance" which were buzzwords at that time. There was a fellow (a professor from Stanford University) there that gave a memorable talk about how to help your college develop a structure for creating shared decision-making between administration, faculty, staff and students. I excitedly returned to my campus and carefully shared this great opportunity with college President. It took many sessions of me mainly listening to his fears to get him to commit to an all-staff meeting to first deal with everyone's gripes and concerns. It took several more of my listening sessions to get his commitment to hire an outside facilitator to further work through issues that staff was having.

I immediately thought of this fellow I heard at conference and whom I knew had expertise to help us. He ended up visiting our campus several times to facilitate all-staff meetings. On his first meeting I was a bit hesitant. After all, we were a small community college in a rural area and he was from a large elite private university. My fears were immediately put to rest as he came in door in his shorts and sandals and wild Hawaii-style shirt. He was so funny and friendly and put everyone at ease, especially President. We couldn't get enough of him. We had more FUN getting very important work accomplished for college. Staff got out their concerns, they had their fights, he had us yell at each other, cry, get frustrated and resolve issues. I soon found out that this silly, funny man was as professional as anyone in a three-piece suit and tie with briefcase in hand. He brought his Facilitators Tool Kit instead.

After he finished with us, we were ready to create our own shared governance model. It wasn't easy, but we had worked through a lot of our roadblocks because of his ability to get us to laugh at ourselves. By way, he was most professional man I have ever met. (Story submitted by Susan Smith).

About Author: Steve Davis, M.A., M.S., is an Facilitator's Coach, Infoprenuer, and free-lance human, helping facilitators, organizational leaders, educators, trainers, coaches and consultants present themselves confidently, access their creativity, empower their under-performing groups, enhance their facilitation skills, and build their business online and offline. Subscribe to his free weekly ezine at www.MasterFacilitatorJournal.com.

Knowing that you can change how you feel simply by changing how you think about each experience is a powerful concept. So if you feel upset about something, ask yourself, “How can I reinterpret this event in a such a way that I can feel good or at least OK about it?” If you have a bill you can’ pay, instead of getting mad or sad about it, decide that this is an opportunity to redesign your financial life. Ask for help, develop a plan, and use your energy to get moving on it.

How you think about your emotions adds even another layer. We often give ourselves a double whammy when we get upset about feeling upset. Here are some positive ways to interpret purpose of our basic emotions set down by Peter McWilliams in his book, "Do It."

- Fear is energy to do your best in a new situation. - Guilt is energy for personal change-it is anger directed toward ourselves, and anger is energy for change. - Unworthiness keeps us on track--just as we can have anything we want, we can't have everything we want. So too, we are worthy of anything we want, but we may not be worthy of everything we want. - Hurt feelings are a reminder of how much we care.

So how can you use this information in your life? I suggest that you examine any beliefs you hold around emotions and situations that trigger them. Begin to cultivate present moment awareness as your emotions arise. Just notice them and look at them, not as good or bad, but simply with curiosity, and with question, what's this energy for and how do I choose to use it? Practice. Begin practice of observing emotions when they arise and identify any judgments you might have about them. Focus instead on listening to message they hold for you. Then, if you should be so bold, act on this message by expressing emotion in a positive fashion.

About Author: Steve Davis, M.A., M.S., is an Facilitator's Coach, Infoprenuer, and free-lance human, helping facilitators, organizational leaders, educators, trainers, coaches and consultants present themselves confidently, access their creativity, empower their under-performing groups, enhance their facilitation skills, and build their business online and offline. Subscribe to his free weekly ezine at www.MasterFacilitatorJournal.com.