Do You Want To Know How Monogamy Came To Be?

Written by Joseph T Farkasdi

Continued from page 1

There are four types of marital arrangements (only one that is civilly legal in America): polyandry, polygamy, monogamy, and polyamory. Polyandry is a marriage arrangement between a wife and two or more husbands. Polygamy is a marriage arrangement between a husband and two or more wives. Monogamy is a marriage arrangement between one husband and one wife. Polyamory is a marriage arrangement between two or more husbands and/or two or more wives. The Torah makes no distinction on which type of legal marriage arrangement is more preferable thanrepparttar others. Instead, it only encourages that through marriagerepparttar 122026 struggles of relationship be dealt with, and thatrepparttar 122027 expression of love be realized. Just as it is realized throughrepparttar 122028 marital struggles between G-d andrepparttar 122029 People of Yisrael. "Now you are to love YHWH your G-d with all your heart, with all your being, with all your substance!" (D’varim 6.5). We do this by faithfully fulfillingrepparttar 122030 obligations of this community marriage relationship with G-d. So it must be in our human marriage relationshipsrepparttar 122031 Torah teaches us.

Monogamy is not threatened by society allowing citizensrepparttar 122032 legal right to choose other types of marriage arrangements, and to be held accountable for these marriages. For those who idealize monogamy asrepparttar 122033 way to go,repparttar 122034 simple bottom-line fact-of-reality is that there is only one threat torepparttar 122035 success and survival of monogamous relationships. This real threat comes from withinrepparttar 122036 homes ofrepparttar 122037 couples that choose a monogamous marriage arrangement, and this threat is not keepingrepparttar 122038 vows made when getting married and not working together to mutually meet each other's needs. The threat of infidelity is not basingrepparttar 122039 marriage on clearly defined obligations to begin with. Banningrepparttar 122040 legal right to form other types of marriage arrangements will not change this. And, it will not prevent people from forming polygamous, polyandrous, and polyamorous relationships - regardless whether they are legally sanctioned by society or not.

The issue inrepparttar 122041 Hebrew Bible is about getting married, not about what marriage form is "right." Its focus is on fulfillingrepparttar 122042 obligations that come with marriage, whether there is love betweenrepparttar 122043 married partners or not. When maintained in this manner,repparttar 122044 relationship is in kedusha, a state of holiness. And, this benefitsrepparttar 122045 community, by providing a strong family-oriented foundation to build from. How can a marriage relationship – whether it be polyandry, polygamy, monogamy, or polyamory – be less of a struggle and more of a love relationship? The first step is to keeprepparttar 122046 marital obligations made between each other when committingrepparttar 122047 act of marriage. Verbally remember and edifyrepparttar 122048 words of this marital agreement often - if possible, on a weekly basis. Sit down together and talk it over.

The next step, which is actuallyrepparttar 122049 very first step and must always remainrepparttar 122050 more important step throughoutrepparttar 122051 marriage is understanding that love is not an object, and thusrepparttar 122052 degree of love one has for another cannot be controlled. But, we do haverepparttar 122053 power within us to control how we will relate to to each other in our relationships. And, we haverepparttar 122054 power to decide whether we will be fidelitous or not. In other words, by defining togetherrepparttar 122055 obligations ofrepparttar 122056 marriage, by living by them throughoutrepparttar 122057 marriage (being conscious of these obligations on a daily basis) and, through this marriage relationship, by elevatingrepparttar 122058 emotional, sexual, and spiritual needs of our partners-in-marriage. Complete honesty between each other, recognition ofrepparttar 122059 need for individual self-responsibility, and partner encouragement (not coercion) is a must. Fulfill this and this marriage, whatever its type, is a marriage maintained in kedusha/holiness, according torepparttar 122060 teachings ofrepparttar 122061 Hebrew Bible.

Footnote: Just for historical authenticity torepparttar 122062 statements made in these * asterisked paragraphs above,repparttar 122063 Damascus Document ofrepparttar 122064 Intertestimal period is a product of a specific extremist community sect of Judaism, and is not reflective of Jewish lifestyle in that time period as a whole. In factrepparttar 122065 majority of Jewish communities would continue to engage in polygamist marriage relationships well intorepparttar 122066 Common Era, and even withinrepparttar 122067 Ashkenazic communities this was so. Monogamy was accepted and justified asrepparttar 122068 ideal by modern Jews only because ofrepparttar 122069 Christian presence around these Jewish communities, meaning Jews conformed torepparttar 122070 practices of their neighbors to avoid persecution over this issue. It is throughrepparttar 122071 extremist Jewish document ofrepparttar 122072 Yachad sect that defines monogamous marriages andrepparttar 122073 monogamous approach to marriages withinrepparttar 122074 Greco-Roman world ofrepparttar 122075 time that Christianity would come to idealize monogamy asrepparttar 122076 ideal marriage relationship style. Evenrepparttar 122077 Irish, who wererepparttar 122078 first culture to embrace Christianity outside ofrepparttar 122079 Greco-Roman world, continued to engage in rather promiscious relationship styles - styles that included group sexual relationships and marriages. It would not be untilrepparttar 122080 arrival ofrepparttar 122081 "White" people into Europe and their subsequent embracement of Christianity that monogamy would be institutionalized asrepparttar 122082 only correct form of marriage. Some estimates have it that monogamy finally took root about a good thousand years afterrepparttar 122083 Damascus Document had been written. And, still today, not all societies are convinced that it really isrepparttar 122084 most moral form of forming relationships.

Joseph Farkasdi is a fictional writer and social commentator. His online expressions range from the sharing of deeply opinionated thoughts on life, love, and relationships to the ever stirring wild and sometimes wet erotic fantasies that stretch one's secret imaginations. His photographic works are as revealing and shameless as his willingness to share all without inhibition. You can view his web site by clicking on .

Beyond the Arch of Swords: Making Military Marriage Last

Written by Barbara Eastom Bates

Continued from page 1

Staying close is important for all couples—even those separated only as far asrepparttar next room inrepparttar 122025 house. Military requirements are not necessarily easier simply because you sharerepparttar 122026 same living space. Long hours and demanding occupational specialties coupled with family responsibilities, can leave evenrepparttar 122027 closest couples with little time to connect. Having that connection however, isrepparttar 122028 glue that sticks families together throughrepparttar 122029 trials of military life. Yet, survivingrepparttar 122030 trials is onlyrepparttar 122031 first step towards a successful military marriage. Couples must also learn to make something positive ofrepparttar 122032 challenges and come to understand that each challenge is just another opportunity in disguise for growth, both as individuals and as a couple.

Emily Travis chose to go back to school in her husband’s absence—something she feels she would not have chosen to do otherwise. “Todd is having a multitude of new experiences and I know he’ll be different because of them when he comes home,” she relates. “That makes me want to have new experiences and better myself too. I think it’s important not to stagnate myself and stop growing, just because I’m waiting to be reunited with my husband.”

Deployments, separations, and evenrepparttar 122033 most successful career inrepparttar 122034 military will eventually end, but marriage is meant to last a lifetime. It is a lessonrepparttar 122035 Wallace’s learned early. “Did we have problems? Absolutely. Were there times I wanted to say it’srepparttar 122036 Marine Corps or me? Yes. And were there times we were so thick inrepparttar 122037 middle of our difficulties we couldn’t see a way out? Most definitely. But those wererepparttar 122038 times we dug in our heels and just held on. Everything changes. It was just a matter of holding on until better days came, and when they did, we were amazed at how much closer we were for having endured together, and how much our marriage had been strengthened by our faith to stay.”

A party was recently given in honor of John and Melissa by co-workers and friends from Camp Pendleton. John gave a speech about his time inrepparttar 122039 Corps and what it meant to have Melissa by his siderepparttar 122040 whole way. He spoke of his years of service,repparttar 122041 happiness they had shared andrepparttar 122042 tears they had shed. He talked ofrepparttar 122043 achievements and honors he had gained inrepparttar 122044 Corps. Yet, to sum up, he had only one thing to say. “I amrepparttar 122045 Marine,” relates John, “but Melissa gives merepparttar 122046 heart.”

Barbara Eastom-Bates has been married to the Marine Corps for eight years, and is the mother of two children. She is the author of the upcoming release, "Basic Training for Brides-to-Be," and develops quality of life media for LIFELines Services Network. Her work additionally appears in Good Sense and Military Spouse magazines.

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