"Divorce and Children: Things To Consider When You're Staying Married Only For Your Children"

Written by Karl Augustine


Continued from page 1

Children and divorce consideration 2: Make sure 'guilt' isn'trepparttar real reason that you aren't getting a divorce.

The 'guilt' referenced above isrepparttar 110658 guilt brought on by thinking that your divorce will hurt your children. In and of itself, this feeling of guilt is a selfish one if you haven't really examined carefully if a divorce will have an adverse effect on your children. If you aren't getting divorced because of guilt in this regard, but you still have an unhappy marriage that is affecting your children, then you aren't really staying married for them, you're staying married for you because you feel guilty...this is selfish.

Children and divorce consideration 3: Once you've clearly defined that you are in fact, not getting a divorce solely because you have children, examine why you think divorce will adversely affect your children.

Remember, divorce can have a negative effect on children initially, but that doesn't necessarily mean that a divorce will be a negative influence on your children forever.

Decide whether or not your children haverepparttar 110659 resiliency,repparttar 110660 intelligence,repparttar 110661 emotional health, andrepparttar 110662 support they'd need to mitigaterepparttar 110663 adverse effects that a divorce would have on them. Will they be happy afterrepparttar 110664 initial shock ofrepparttar 110665 divorce is worked through?

Children and divorce consideration 4: Once you've really defined what you believe to be negative effects on your children due to divorce, think about what your children's life will be like inrepparttar 110666 immediate and distant future if you do actually go through withrepparttar 110667 divorce.

Ask yourself, "Can I create and maintain a healthy environment for my children if I do get a divorce?"

One thing that is a critical factor in this decision isrepparttar 110668 feasibility of you and your spouse getting a divorce amicably. If you and your spouse can go through a divorce amicably, and you both can agree to always put your children's welfare above your own, you will be one step ahead.

Again, make sure you are certain a divorce is necessary to createrepparttar 110669 right type of environment for your children. Assure that there is absolutely no way you can rekindle your marriage.

Usually, divorce representsrepparttar 110670 first real trauma of a child's life. Keep this in mind when your making your divorce decision. Divorce is a serious step and nothing should be done until your're certain that divorce isrepparttar 110671 best course of action. Getting a divorce without making sure that divorce isrepparttar 110672 right thing is selfish on your part and isrepparttar 110673 wrong thing to do to your children...after all, they deserve your best effort!

One thing should remain constant...that you and your spouse will always be there for your children, no matter what.

Author of "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce", the eBook recommended by counselors to thier clients. Proven "Actions Items" to help you decide!

Deciding on Divorce

Children and Divorce


You Want to be a Stay-At-Home Parent

Written by Roger Sorensen


Continued from page 1

The surprising thing to Sandy wasrepparttar cost ofrepparttar 110657 little things. Morning coffee, afternoon soda pop, a quick spin through a fast food joint to bring home supper, these and a dozen more ways to spend a dollar here and a dollar there added up. When this typical middle class family deducted allrepparttar 110658 costs of having both spouses working, they were shocked to discover that Sandy was contributing only a third of her $14 an hour pre-tax earnings torepparttar 110659 family. This amounted to only $4.5 an hour, or barely $36 a day torepparttar 110660 family Spendable income. That amount calculates into $180 a week and $9000 a year. Each family unit is different and you may decide thatrepparttar 110661 money is worthrepparttar 110662 effort of leaving home to work everyday. There is no right and wrong answer as we traditionally think of right and wrong. Instead, I prefer to think of it as being a best and O.K. answer. When thinking about adding $9000 a year to your family income, you must also considerrepparttar 110663 intangible costs for earning that money. Intangibles arerepparttar 110664 things that will cost you something, but are not measurable in terms of money. Working parents miss most ofrepparttar 110665 child’s firsts – first word, first step, first dirty diaper, first funny face, first four years. These things do not provide money, but they do give you sweet and kind memories to take with you throughrepparttar 110666 troublesome teen years. Being away from your child 40 – 50 hours a week and missing this kind of stuff is consideredrepparttar 110667 emotional cost of being a working parent. When a child is at home with her mother or father, they will be learning about life from someone who loves them more than any outsider. Children are great imitators, and who can be a better role model than a parent? Considering her career as a Customer Service Manager, Sandy knew she was topped out in both earnings and responsibility. Based on that, and her family’s finances, she decided to stay home whenrepparttar 110668 baby was born. She and her husband worked up a Spending Plan and figured out areas where Sandy could decrease costs, like making home made meals and takingrepparttar 110669 time to findrepparttar 110670 best prices for things.

So assuming that you, as a parent who would like to stay home with your child, what steps should you take? 1. Take some serious time to talk with each other about this decision. Reducing your standard of living to fit within a single income can be difficult, and if both of you are not together on this, it will fail andrepparttar 110671 stress on your family could be catastrophic. 2. Plan whatrepparttar 110672 two of you would likerepparttar 110673 future to be like. Write down your ideas, you know, live on one income, save forrepparttar 110674 future, pay off debt, enjoy being able to nurture your child at home duringrepparttar 110675 early years, find a part-time job after your child goes to school. Write these plans on paper and hang them on your refrigerator door. Whyrepparttar 110676 fridge? It isrepparttar 110677 only place in your house you are guaranteed to see them more than once a day. 3. If you have a time period of 2 – 4 months time before you will be ready to stop working, create a Spending Plan right away. This will allow you time to adjust to living on one income and make necessary adjustments to your spending levels such as cutting back on entertainment, or reducing monthly payments for little used services, etc. 4. The parent who will be staying home should prepare themselves forrepparttar 110678 change if they have been working. Start making contact with other stay-at-home parents, talk with your friends about your decision so they will not be giving your grief afterrepparttar 110679 change occurs. 5. Keep clear communications open with your spouse, to make surerepparttar 110680 two of you are in agreement.

Makingrepparttar 110681 decision to leaverepparttar 110682 work force and stay home with your child can be daunting. If you prepare for it like you would for any other lifestyle change, this decision can work out well for everyone in your family.

Roger Sorensen is a Financial Author and Speaker, and the editor of Money Basics, a monthly personal finance newsletter found online at www.brighterfutures.com. After filling in his own debt pit equal to 150% of his annual income, Roger has turned the experiance into Brighter Futures, a Financial Literacy company. "There is hope for you, no matter how large your debt load might be."


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