Often times when people give 'surface' or flimsy reasons for wanting a divorce, they really have much deeper feelings about something and they're just using shallow divorce reason as an avoidance of some kind. Or, they give these 'foundation-less' reasons for wanting a divorce because they actually aren't aware that there are other deeper rooted reasons that are cause of way they feel now.

Common reasons that cause people to think about or want to get a divorce:

*Couple has conflicting personal beliefs

*Couple’s marital satisfaction decreases

*Desertion

*Adultery

*Cruel treatment

*Bigamy

*Imprisonment

*Spousal Indignities

*Institutionalization

*Irretrievable Breakdown of some kind

Of course, you should add your own reasons to list for wanting a divorce, better yet, make your own list. Solid divorce reasons for wanting or going through a divorce usually come from some sort of occurrence, behavioral pattern, and/or change in viewpoint of marriage itself.

In order to really make a smart decision, you should first list reasons that you have for wanting a divorce, then examine those divorce reasons for true viability. Then come back to it that list in a day or so.

Chances are you will be able to scratch a few of those reasons for wanting a divorce off list because they were identified purely from an emotional viewpoint rather than logic.

If you are thinking about getting a divorce, and haven't clearly identified what reasons you have for feeling way you do, you'll be doing yourself a 'dis-service' if you act without carefully examining viability each designated divorce reason. Everyone has their own reasons for wanting a divorce, make sure that you are certain that your reasons are truthfully viable to you before you act on them.

Karl Augustine Deciding on Divorce

Divorce reasons

“So what do I do?” asked Marlo. “I’m so used to taking care of everyone else. I have no idea how to take care of myself.”

“Imagine that your feelings and needs are a small child that you’ve just adopted. What would you do to help her begin to feel loved?”

“Well, I would spend time with her, and listen to her, and hold her. I would let her know that I’m here and not going away. I would do lots of things to help her feel safe and loved.”

“Exactly!” I stated. “This is what you need to start to do for yourself. Keep imagining that your own feelings are a small child and you are parent of this child. You really do know how to be loving – it’s just that you’ve never thought about being loving to yourself. Take all that you’ve learned about giving to others and now give some of it to yourself.”

Then we moved on to another subject. “Marlo, do you have a source of spiritual guidance you turn to?”

“Yes,” she replied. “I’m a Christian and I turn to Jesus.”

“Good,” I said. “Now you need to start asking Jesus for information regarding loving action toward yourself. You do this by asking a question, such as, ‘Jesus, what would loving action be toward myself when Jack is angry with me?’ or ‘What is in my highest good when my children are being demanding or disrespectful toward me?’ Then imagine what Jesus might say to you. You might have to make it up for awhile, but after awhile you will begin to experience that Jesus is actually answering you. You will begin to experience two-way communication between you and Jesus. Are you willing to try this?”

Marlo was willing. I cautioned her that Jack and her children might be upset with her for awhile, because they were used to her being a caretaker, but that if they really loved her and wanted her to be happy, they would end up supporting her in loving herself.

“But what if Jack just stays mad?” she asked.

“Well, then you can decide what is in your highest good. But until you are loving to yourself, you will not know truth about Jack. Most of people I’ve worked with have found that when they are loving to themselves long enough, their whole relationship improves. I can’t guarantee it, but isn’t it worth a try, rather than just giving up?”

“Yes, I don’t really want to leave Jack. I’m excited about this. I finally have some hope for our relationship!”