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I completely believe that I was meant to go through each of those phases. I've learned so many incredible things about myself because of this experience. I have friends and acquaintances who are going through same things at this very moment, who (I'm flattered to say), come to me for advice, or merely need an ear, and it surprises me to hear them saying that they're having exact feelings and thoughts that I had in various stages of my journey. It also pleases me to say that there is nothing wrong with these phases. There were times when I thought that I was completely loopy. But we all go through them. I found that mine were therapeutic, and in hindsight, educational. I honestly believe that we're meant to learn something from each phase. I learned that I'm much stronger than I thought I was. I learned this when apprehension came to visit me. I learned that I have a lot more patience than I ever thought I could have. I learned that I CAN be bigger person (when I have to be). I learned that as long as I take care of myself, my children do wonderfully. I have full custody of 3 children, and I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I could do this on my own. Don't get me wrong, "the ex" is a regular visitor in my children's lives, and we got to be pretty good friends, once I grasped lesson that what happened wasn't about ME. It was his mess. It was his mental and emotional mess. There was nothing wrong with me.
I'm happy with my life, and with who I am at end of entire divorce process. I'm running my own business (www.DebbieBurgin.com), for first time in my life, I'm in complete control of every aspect of my life. My children are happy. If I want to eat chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner, I can do so without having anyone berate me for it. If I want to spend an outrageous amount of money on a pair of amazing shoes, I will without a second (unwelcomed) opinion (Mr. Visa loves me). And last but absolutely NOT LEAST, I don't have anyone asking me "What did you do all day?" when they get home from work.
All's wonderful in my world. I truly believe that my divorce made me a much stronger person. I proudly bear title "Divorce Poster Child". I think I just might put that on a tee shirt.
Debbie Burgin is a divorced mom, who believes that sometimes life hands us rotten, nasty lemons, and it is our duty to find a way to make lemonade from them.
"Divorce is one of those things that give us the opportunity to look at our lives from behind an entirely different pair of goggles than most would expect. It is the opportunity to start over, to begin again".