Hate puts unnecessary stress on your body. It is a well-known fact, proven by numerous studies, that bitterness and hate can actually make you sick. A great number of people in world don't really belong in a hospital, because root of their problem is not physical but is mental. The moment they forgive and let go of their hate they will start to get well.

There is another reason why you need to forgive. If you don't forgive you actually prevent blessings from flowing to you. The Bible says that before you pray for anything first forgive those who wronged you, and then your Father in heaven will forgive you your wrongs. So there you can see that blessings are closely connected to your forgiving others.

I have personal experience of this. I used to be very cynical about life and didn't forgive easily. At time I also struggled in every area of my life. Things just didn't seem to work out for me. It is as if everything that could go wrong, always went wrong. That was until somebody told me to take a look at my attitude. And when I forgave those who wronged me and changed my attitude, everything else changed. It didn't happen overnight. It took a while, but I could see and feel difference.

Now you may ask how do you know when you've really forgiven someone? Here's key. If after you've "forgiven" that person you still experience a negative sting whenever you think of him or her, it means you still have work to do. If however you don't have negative feelings towards that person it means you are free.

Are things not working out in your life, despite you doing all "right" things? Is it possible that you have unforgiveness in your heart? It is certainly something to think about!

We were trying to capture it. That was our problem. That was reason for our strain. Trying to capture your essence is a bit like trying to attain enlightenment.

The Zen master teaches moment you reach for enlightenment is very moment it slips away from you. In words of Zen-master-like, movie character Bagger Vance, "you've got to let it find you."

I requested we take a more playful approach to out task. I asked her to become a child again. I playfully shared with her - as we spoke on phone - how I was actually walking about my home office in my underwear (sad but true). We laughed, we joked, we lighted up and stopped trying to get it just right.

Finally, just as sweetest cream floats to top of churn, perfect words emerged to describe true essence of this beautiful soul.

The truth of her being was child-like joy, passionate exploration and inspirational wisdom. This is being Creator had created when (s)he created her. This is reality and purpose that was to shape rest of her life, should she choose.

In months that followed, she continued doing as much as ever. The difference though, was her doing was no longer shaped by survival. It was now shaped by truth. It was shaped by purpose. It was shaped by true essence of who she'd discovered herself to be.

With inner shift complete, shift in her outer reality began shortly thereafter. She began taking more time for herself to play and relax. She aggressively cleared away many of energy drains she lived with for so long. Her health gradually improved. Her relationships took on a new level of richness and fulfillment.

She began to sense universe was requesting a greater expression of her passion and talent. I followed her intuition and suggested that, in fact, world was patiently waiting for her to spread her wings as far as she dare spread them.

Together, we formulated a plan to transition from her current career into a career where she could spread her wings wider than she had spread them before. We talked of books she would write, music she'd record and website I am building for her.

We discussed marketing strategy, taglines and services she would offer. We spoke of all things she's currently focusing her energy upon as you read these words.

I could go on, but it's enough to say it was an incredible year for both of us. I learned as much from her, if not more, than she did from me.

Most importantly, I learned my clients' success is more dependent on responsibility THEY assume for their life than responsibility I assume for their life. Its really only way coaching works.

Said another way . . .

It's Your Life! Make it Great.