Discerning The Loving Heart

Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D,

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So, how do you become discerning of who has a loving, caring and compassionate heart? The first step is to focus on developing as much compassion for your own feelings as you have for others. Often, very caring people leave themselves out, caring about others far more than they care about themselves. This leaves them vulnerable to becomingrepparttar caretaker for someone who just wants someone else to take care of them, and then gets angry when you don’t do it “right.” If you develop compassion for yourself, you will start to feel much more quickly when someone is not really caring about you. If you are just focused on another’s feelings, you won’t notice what you feel, and it is your own feelings that allow you to discern caring from a lack of caring.

The next step is to understand and accept that, no matter how caring you are to others, you have no control over how caring others are with you. You can’t make someone be caring, andrepparttar 126170 more you take care of another’s feelings and well-being while ignoring your own,repparttar 126171 less caringrepparttar 126172 other will be. The other person becomes a mirror for your lack of caring about yourself.

The more you learn to take full, 100% responsibility for your own feelings,repparttar 126173 more another’s lack of caring will be intolerable to you. The more you are able to stay tuned into yourself and trust your own perceptions,repparttar 126174 quicker you will discern a lack of caring in others. The more you accept your lack of control over getting others to be caring,repparttar 126175 quicker you will let go of people who are intent on getting caring but not much concerned with giving it.

It really doesn’t take long to discernrepparttar 126176 loving heart once you have compassion for yourself, trust your perceptions, and accept your lack of control over others. People betray their intention to either give love or to get it, or to give to get, with everything they say and do. With practice, you can learn to discernrepparttar 126177 loving heart very early in a relationship. If you want to stop recreatingrepparttar 126178 same relationships over and over, then develop your power of discernment.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?", "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By My Kids?", "Healing Your Aloneness","Inner Bonding", and "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?" Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com

Emotional Expression: An EQ Competency

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, Personal and Professional Development Coach

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Inrepparttar career situation, you can’t count onrepparttar 126169 boss caring about how you feel, or being interested in a personal relationship with you, but you do have a right to be treated with respect. You must be attuned to what you’re feeling and stand up for yourself in a professional manner, or find somewhere else to work if you care about your health. And one ofrepparttar 126170 first things I caution someone who comes to me for career coaching because they’re dissatisfied with their job, is to get very mindful. Otherwise, it’s likely you’ll end up getting yourself fired to get yourself out of there. It happens allrepparttar 126171 time and there’s a much more gracious way to make your exit.

Emotional Intelligence is all about being mindful. If we experience our emotions and pay attention to them, they can guide us. If we express our emotions appropriately and accurately, we can address a situation before it becomes an issue. If we ignore our emotions, bury them, or fail to listen to their message, we lose a guide and we also a sense of ourselves. It has been said “we are our emotions” because without emotions we would all be alike and all like machines. There would be no reason for choosing one thing over another, no reason for doing one thing rather than another. If we are our emotions, we are also our choices, and our choices often revolve around emotions.

Studying Emotional Intelligence can greatly enrich your life and should be given at least as much attention as your intellectual and academic education. Unfortunately it has been ignored in our formal educations, and its up to us to closerepparttar 126172 gap. Certified Emotional Intelligence coaches can help you assess your EQ and develop it. The benefits will be all yours.

©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, distance learning, and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your continued personal and professional development. I train and certify EQ coaches. Get in this field, dubbed “white hot” by the press, now, before it’s crowded, and offer your clients something of exceptional value. Start tomorrow, no residence requirement. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for free ezine.

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