Difficult Relationships at Work - Dealing with Workplace Conflict

Written by Charlotte Burton

Continued from page 1

To collaborate successfully on an issue such as bullying or continuing conflict you need to follow a few basic guidelines. - You must recognise that part ofrepparttar problem is your own fault: you allowed it to happen and did not try to address it to begin with. You can use this aloud and actively take part ofrepparttar 147051 responsibility, as this will putrepparttar 147052 onus ontorepparttar 147053 other person to takerepparttar 147054 other part ofrepparttar 147055 responsibility. - Remember that we frequently don't like in others what we don't want to see in ourselves, but find occasionally anyway. Be very sure that you have not committedrepparttar 147056 same conflict and that you do not inrepparttar 147057 future. - Manage yourself duringrepparttar 147058 resolution attempt - learn calming strategies if you are hot-tempered, or confidence boosters if you are shy. Try not to be emotional, as emotion will only make things escalate. - Maintain eye contact and use your body language to convey your belief in what you are saying. Don't fiddle with something nervously, don't cross your arms protectively, and don't put yourself on a lower level thanrepparttar 147059 other person (such as sitting on a lower chair). - Don't believe thatrepparttar 147060 best defence is a good offence - that is part ofrepparttar 147061 Competing strategy. - Workrepparttar 147062 issue, notrepparttar 147063 person: this means addressingrepparttar 147064 behaviour rather thanrepparttar 147065 entire existence of that person. There is a different level of ownership for behaviours, and people will take less offence if you criticise their behaviour than if you criticise them personally. Never lay blame, as this will only fanrepparttar 147066 fires. - If you are not getting anywhere, ask for further information fromrepparttar 147067 other person aboutrepparttar 147068 reasons for their behaviour, but don't askrepparttar 147069 questions with 'why' atrepparttar 147070 beginning - if you do this will actively putrepparttar 147071 other person underrepparttar 147072 spotlight and they will get defensive.

Remember above all, that people who enjoy creating conflict are ultimately power-seekers who enjoy controlling others. Frequently this is because either they have suffered in a similar way before or feel that they have very little control over their own lives and does anything they can to feel in control. A little compassion will take you a long way both in resolvingrepparttar 147073 situation and in putting it behind you when it is resolved.

A Final Word on Bullying

Dr Gary Namie, co-founder and president ofrepparttar 147074 Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute, conducted an online survey of 1,000 people who claimed to have been bullied at work, finding that 37% were eventually fired, and 33% quit their jobs. In a reversal ofrepparttar 147075 typical childhood bullying scenario, in which unpopular and apparently weak kids are picked on most, adult victims inrepparttar 147076 workplace tend to be very capable and charismatic people. The bully sees them as a threat, and determines to get them out ofrepparttar 147077 picture. Most workplace bullies are thought to be women -- 58% according to those Namie surveyed -- and so are their targets -- 80% of those surveyed. The estimated figure is that halfrepparttar 147078 adult population will experience severe conflict at work at least once in their working life. That is a scary statistic - andrepparttar 147079 majority of people don't expect conflict and don't know how to deal with it when it intrudes.

Bullying conjures up images of schools and young children, but it is growing trend inrepparttar 147080 workplace, which is rarely tackled openly even if you are lucky enough to have policies to deal with this issue. There are legal options to take shouldrepparttar 147081 strategies above not resolverepparttar 147082 conflict. Don't ever just put up with bullying, seek help and advice.

To learn more about bullying and what you can do about it, I recommend visiting www.bullyonline.org - it has a lot of good information and further resources.

Charlotte Burton is a Licensed Career Coach & Psychometric Assessor. For more information and to sign up for the ezine, view the website at www.lifeisvital.com or email charlotte@lifeisvital.com to request your complimentary consultation.

Fun At Work Leads To More Success

Written by Ramon Greenwood

Continued from page 1

A clinical psychiatrist at Stanford University has found that a good laugh raisesrepparttar pulse and blood pressure and releases adrenaline intorepparttar 147021 system. The lungs expand and torso muscles expand and contract. After laughter,repparttar 147022 blood pressure and heart rate return to normal. Laughter is said to be like jogging in place.

Leaders use humor to communicate goals and motivate their followers.

That’s whyrepparttar 147023 late Sam Walton, founder of Wal-Mart,repparttar 147024 giant retailer, was willing to put on a hula skirt and dance down Wall Street when Wal-Mart employees met a challenge he had laid down.

It is not necessary to be another Johnny Carson to provoke a rejuvenating laugh or enjoy a joke. Lighten up. Be willing to laugh at yourself. See and tolerate absurdities onrepparttar 147025 job. They do exist and they are not necessarilyrepparttar 147026 end ofrepparttar 147027 world.

Tommy May, CEO of Simmons First National Bank, who is an arch conservative in business matters, put humor to work to motivate workers in a United Way campaign by letting his chief competitor throw a chocolate pie in his face whenrepparttar 147028 May-led team came in second in raising money.

Use humor carefully. Don’t overdo it. Don’t violaterepparttar 147029 rules of your workplace. Don’t laugh at people; laugh with them.

Heedrepparttar 147030 wisdom of Mark Twain: “…the law of work…the higherrepparttar 147031 pay in enjoymentrepparttar 147032 worker gets out of it,repparttar 147033 higher shall be his pay in money also.”

It all comes down torepparttar 147034 advice from one sage observer who said, “Get happiness out of your work or you may never know what happiness is.”

xxx For more information on achieving success inrepparttar 147035 world of work visit www.CommonSenseAtWork.com

Ramon Greenwood is former senior vice president of American Express; a professional director for various businesses; a consultant; a published author of career related books and a syndicated column. Senior career counselor for www.CommonSenseAtWork.com>

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