4. Redirect their idealism when it gets in way of their day-to-day functioning.

Help them find a time and place for it. Empathize with feelings. Turn them back to task.

5. Don't put them in positions such as quality control unless you want to explain difference between "perfect" and "good enough" a million times.

6. Assign them teaching and mentoring tasks.

Their gentle personalities make them a natural at this. They're usually excellent at cooperative goals

7. If you give them a management task, remind them they can't just think or say how it should be, and should be done, they will have to get people to do it – human beings who engage in human error, who may not want to, or don’t know how to.

In other words, it will involve getting their hands dirty.

8. Let them be go-betweens.

If they understand project and mission, they make wonderful ambassadors and diplomats. They don't need to be representing a nation, they'll do this with dignity and excellence within your family and organization.

9. When you ask them something, add at end, "And how would we do this in practical steps?"

Else they'll stay up in their head. Do NOT reward them for perfectionism. Excellence, yes. Perfect? It's only, well, an ideal, yes?

10. Keep them from devoting an undue amount of time to underdog. Unless that's their job, of course.

Let them know that's your job (or someone else's within your organization or family). They're natural-born advocates, making great coaches, lawyers, social workers, teachers, and mediators.

Change as loss? Well, if it’s a good change, we don’t have as much trouble dealing with it. Or do we? You’d think that winning lottery would be a “good” change, but studies show that many people simply can’t adjust to it. See what I mean about becoming change-proficient? Wouldn’t it be a shame to win lottery and go under from stress of it?

And changes we don’t want, that signal loss of something important to us, or beloved by us, require all courage, skills and buoyancy we can muster.

The goal is not to sink into resolute self-pity or bitterness, but to rise again. “Affliction comes to us, “said H. G. Wells, British philosopher, “not to make us sad, but sober; not to make us sorry but wise.”

If you decide to develop resilience keep in mind stretch may cause some growing pains at first. To quote Wells again, “You have learned something. That always feels at first as if you had lost something.”

When you give up idea that things are going to be same, you will have lost something. What will you have gained?

Most people who begin to work mindfully on their Emotional Intelligence experience immediate beneficial changes. Some are even exhilarated. Managing emotional component of any circumstance or event may well be crucial feature to how you cope. Notice it’s “manage,” not “control.”

If things are changing all time, and it’s getting to you, you can learn how to not let it get to you. And then you will have lost something … but what will you have gained?