More often than not, once customer has had an initial chance to vent his rage, it's going to die down a little, and that's your opportunity to take step in.

Even if he has started calming down on his own, there comes a moment - and I can almost guarantee you'll sense it - to help calm him down. Try something along lines of: "It sounds like something has gone wrong, and I can understand your frustration. I'm sorry you're experiencing this problem. Let's take a look at next step."

Try to calm yourself first, and then to acknowledge his feelings. Say, "I can tell you're upset..." or, "It sounds like you're angry..." then connect to customer by apologizing, or empathizing. When you say something like "I'm sorry that happened. If I were you, I'd be frustrated, too." It's amazing how much of a calming effect that can have.

Remember, anger is a natural, self-defensive reaction to a perceived wrong. If there is a problem with your company’s product or service, some frustration and disappointment is justified.

This is so important, let me repeat it. First you listen carefully and completely to customer. Then you empathize with what customer is feeling, and let him or her know that you understand. This will almost always calm customer down. You've cracked shell of egg. Now, you can proceed to deal with problem.

2. IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM. Sometimes while angry customer is venting, you'll be able to latch right on to problem because it's clear-cut. Something is broken. Or late. Or he thinks a promise has been broken.

But sometimes in middle of all that rage, it's tough to comprehend bottom-line issue. This is a good place for some specific questions. Ask customer to give you some details. "What day did he order it, when exactly was it promised. What is his situation at moment?" These kind of questions force customer to think about facts instead of his/her feelings about those facts. So, you interject a more rational kind of conversation. Think of this step of process as cutting through white of egg to get to yolk at center.

It's important, when you think you understand details, to restate problem. You can say, "Let me see if I have this right. You were promised delivery last Friday, because you need it for an important project this coming week. But you haven't received our product yet. Is that correct?"

He will probably acknowledge that you've sized up situation correctly. Or, he may say, "No, that's not right" and then proceed to explain further. In either case outcome is good, because you will eventually understand his situation correctly, and have him tell you that "Yes, that's right."

And at that point you can apologize. Some people believe that an apology is an acknowledgment of wrongdoing. But you can appreciate and apologize for customer's inconvenience without pointing fingers. Just say, "Mr. Brady, I'm sorry this has happened." Or "Mr. Brady. I understand this must be very frustrating. Let's just see what we can do fix it, OK?"

3. AVOID BLAME. You don't want to blame customer by saying something like "Are you sure you understood price and delivery date correctly?" This will just ignite his anger all over again because you are questioning his credibility and truth-telling.

And you don't want to blame your company or your suppliers Never say, "I’m not surprised your invoice was wrong. It's been happening a lot." Or, "Yes, our backorders are way behind."

In general, you AVOID BLAME. Which is different than acknowledging responsibility. For example, if you know, for a fact, a mistake has been made, you can acknowledge it and apologize for it. "Mr. Brady, clearly there's a problem here with our performance. I can't change that, but let me see what I can do to help you out because I understand how important your project is."

4. RESOLVE THE PROBLEM. Now you’re at heart of egg. You won't always be able to fix problem perfectly. And you may need more time than a single phone call. But it's critical to leave irate customer with understanding that your goal is to resolve problem. You may need to say, "I'm going to need to make some phone calls." If you do, give customer an idea of when you’ll get back to him: "Later this afternoon." Or "First thing in morning."

Then do it. Make phone calls. Get information. Find out what you can do for this customer and do it. Then follow up with customer when you said you would. Even if you don't have all information you need, call when you said you would and at least let him know what you've done, what you're working on and what your next step will be. Let customer know that he and his business are important to you, that you understand his frustration, and that you're working hard to get things fixed.

Use tools of respect and empathy, and "crack egg" process, and you'll move your professionalism up a notch. ###

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[J] Understood!

[T] Just to reinforce my thoughts on change, just think about this.....Years ago Pony Express took 18 days to get a message from east coast to west. If our email takes 18 seconds today, we're calling tech support to find out what's wrong! Times have changed dramatically in all areas and selling is no exception.

[J] Is there one particular method or technique that you find is still in common use in many businesses, which should not be used in today's marketplace.

[T] There are lots, but there is one particular methodology which I hear about all too frequently and is worth "putting it to bed" right now. It's a very tired old idea which you may have heard of or some may even be working...heaven forbid!

It goes like this: The sales process is split into three main areas: Warm up, presentation of product, then close.

In other words, seller "warms up" buyer with a little friendly chat about weather, golf, holidays etc. He then moves on to demonstrate his product, showing features and benefits and why buyer should choose this product over any other one in marketplace.

The buyer then moves on to "tough bit" (the close) and normally conversation goes from being pleasant and open to one with both parties twitching and getting more tense by minute.

[J] I hate to admit this Terry, but I've seen this method taught recently at a seminar I attended!

[T] I know it still goes on and in a way I'm glad you've seen this. It's old hand-me-down stuff. But, without question, in this day and age, this form of selling is nonsense. Let's put these tired old ideas to bed quickly by asking you to think back to your schooldays.....

[J] Just a few years ago!

[T] Me too! At breakfast, your Mum gave you your bowl of cereal and sprinkled a spoonful of wheatgerm flakes on top. You didn't notice wheatgerm and you never questioned your Mum as to why she added these flakes. Just think, if Mum had let you finish your cereal and then popped a spoonful of dry flakes in your mouth! You'd have coughed, choked and spluttered and Mum would not have been most favourite person on block!

So it is with professional closing. If you separate "closing" part, buyer will choke. Make it a little more palatable for him. Just a little closing sprinkled throughout presentation and he'll not even notice!

[J] Wow, that's a powerful analogy - I like that!

[T] Conversational, matter-of-fact closing throughout meeting is a technique that's invisible to buyer. It's methodology for today's markets.

[J] So, that's how top salesmen do it?

[T] It is, but I bet if you asked a top salesman how he closes business, he'd scratch his head and probably be unable to give you a precise answer. I guarantee though, that his methodology was so rock solid that there was probably no need to "close sale". It was a "done deal" part way through.

[J] So, message for salesperson is "get updated" then?

[T] What I'd say is this, Jan, if you don't know how to sprinkle wheatgerm on your cereal, or you don't automatically integrate your closing, then you must be on "happy pills" to keep smiling after all those rejections!

[J] If they weren't before, they may be now! Well, Terry, It's been a real eye-opener speaking to you. Thanks for your time.

[T] Just a thought to finish our discussion, Jan. For your next appointment........... Why not use a "which would you prefer" question early on in meeting?

Like, "Nice to see you, Mr Jones. May I ask...would you like your wheatgerm sprinkled so you'll hardly notice it, or would you prefer me to give it to you at end, all in one mouthful, so that you cough and choke for ten minutes?"

Only a joke. Honest!