Dealing with Anger

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach & Consultant

Continued from page 1

However,repparttar more we fight it,repparttar 126140 greaterrepparttar 126141 hold it will have on us, and we compoundrepparttar 126142 stress. It takes energy to stuff it down and that takes its toll. Besides it doesn’t work.

The first step is to recognize and accept it. “Nothing’s either good or bad, but thinking makes it so,” saidrepparttar 126143 poet, and this applies to all our feelings, including anger. They are. They happen. They’re there for a reason, which should be noted.

Judging our emotions only compoundsrepparttar 126144 stress. Even inrepparttar 126145 Bible it says, “Be angry, and yet do not sin. Do not letrepparttar 126146 sun go down on your anger.” [Ephesians 4:26] The New Living Translation phrases it, “Don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you.”

It gains control over us when we do one of two things – either ignoring it, or reacting to it in knee-jerk fashion, and doing something harmful.

What’srepparttar 126147 alternative? Sit withrepparttar 126148 anger. Experience it. Acknowledge it. Then move yourself torepparttar 126149 higher center ofrepparttar 126150 brain,repparttar 126151 neocortex, and figure out what to do about it, if anything. Respond, don’t react. Put a pause in between feeling and action. Be willing to do nothing, while feeling it atrepparttar 126152 same time. But don’t ignore it.

Better Anthony’s wife had told him each time she was angry and asked for changes rather than just throwingrepparttar 126153 keys onrepparttar 126154 table one day and walking out. Then it was too late. There was too much water underrepparttar 126155 bridge, too much resentment, too much to deal with.

When we stuff it down, it’s likely to come out inrepparttar 126156 “kickrepparttar 126157 dog syndrome” as well. Some unsuspecting person will berepparttar 126158 brunt of our resentment toward someone else, or we’ll get drunk, or crashrepparttar 126159 car, or trash our life in some way. Anger is energy.


One way to deal with anger is to learn to forgive. This is a long learning process for most of us, but, of course, we have plenty of opportunity to practice it. Unjustices occur allrepparttar 126160 time, and we have all been wronged. Learning to let go of this anger is part of Emotional Intelligence.

One reason this is a good policy is because many ofrepparttar 126161 most grievous injustices can’t be undone. An apology wouldn’t be enough.

Therefore, we forgive, and we do so for our own benefit, notrepparttar 126162 benefit ofrepparttar 126163 perpetrator. The anger will eat us up, while having little effect onrepparttar 126164 object of our anger, which means we are twice victims, and morerepparttar 126165 fool.


Channelrepparttar 126166 energy. When your boss makes you angry, go chop wood when you get home. Userepparttar 126167 anger over your divorce to flame through graduate school. Get angry atrepparttar 126168 opposing team and winrepparttar 126169 football game. Write poetry when your mother dies. Master Rachmaninoff’s 3rd Concerto when your wife runs off with another man.


This is another method for dealing with anger. Namerepparttar 126170 feeling and claim it. It’s your anger.

Intellectually speaking, someone could have saidrepparttar 126171 same thing to someone else, and it would’ve had little or no effect. YOU are inrepparttar 126172 equation! “Aim it” means know where it’s coming from. Don’t slap your child because your partner infuriated you. “Tame it” means learning to self-soothe.

Developing your emotional intelligence can help eventually to modulate your feelings. (So can therapy.) You experience them less strongly after time, if you work at dealing with them as they come up.


This is Paul Pearsall’s formula. He has a Ph.D. in psychoneuroimmunology and isrepparttar 126173 author of “The Pleasure Principle.” His work on anger is compelling, as he has studiedrepparttar 126174 effect it has on our immunology system, which is our health.

Repressing anger makes us sick, and so does expressing it. There’s a plethora of research showing that just recalling an angering event causesrepparttar 126175 same reaction as if it were happening again in real time. Why do this to yourself over and over again? Wasn’t once enough? Skiprepparttar 126176 war stories, and skiprepparttar 126177 bypass, yes?

“Confess it,” says Pearsall, meaning roughly that you acknowledge you have it, and that maybe you aren’t “yourself,” or thinking straight. You take a break. Breathe deeply. Count to ten. Think it over. Move on.


Learning to manage anger is part of emotional intelligence. We are never far fromrepparttar 126178 two-year-old throwing a tantrum. “We never grow up,” someone said, “We just learn how to behave in public.” The difference is self-awareness and tools – understandingrepparttar 126179 emotion, being able to stop, self-soothe and think it through, and not letting it getrepparttar 126180 better of us.

©Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach and Consultant, . Offering coaching, business programs, Internet courses, teleclasses, ebooks, and EQ coach training and certification. for more information, or to sign up for FREE ezine. Put “ezine” for subject line.

Internet Marketing Psychology & Intriguing Facts

Written by Steven Hands - "The Mind Manipulation Marketer"

Continued from page 1

Exercise #2 - Close your eyes momentarily and forrepparttar period of approximately 1 minute I want you to do try and achieverepparttar 126139 following.

I want you to think of a red rose for 1 minute. Do it now.

This task was relatively easy huh? Now torepparttar 126140 point ofrepparttar 126141 exercise..

The focusing ofrepparttar 126142 red rose was relatively easy enough,repparttar 126143 second exercise also holdsrepparttar 126144 key torepparttar 126145 first exercise of NOT focusing onrepparttar 126146 black dog. The most effective way to NOT think of something is to think of something else.

Most importantly, we need to be aware that not thinking of something actually focusesrepparttar 126147 goal oriented part ofrepparttar 126148 mind on that very thing, just as effectively as if you had chosen to think of it directly.

One can observerepparttar 126149 principle of this exercise at work very effectively when parents walk their children home from school, they tell their children NOT to jump inrepparttar 126150 puddles right? But almost as if you could set a clock by it, your kids are back doing exactly what you told them NOT to do, yep they are jumping inrepparttar 126151 puddles.

Byrepparttar 126152 parent saying to their children, don't jump inrepparttar 126153 puddles, this drawsrepparttar 126154 kids attention directly torepparttar 126155 puddles and in they go. Thenrepparttar 126156 parents haverepparttar 126157 cheek to get upset atrepparttar 126158 children after they have quite effectively, if somewhat unconsciously directed them straight intorepparttar 126159 puddles.

So how do you keep your children from jumping inrepparttar 126160 puddles you ask?

Think about it for a moment. The mind is a goal orientated decision making tool, you wantrepparttar 126161 mind to focus away fromrepparttar 126162 puddles, where do you wantrepparttar 126163 mind to go? Onrepparttar 126164 dry ground of course, sorepparttar 126165 effective thing to say is "keep onrepparttar 126166 dry ground", this focusesrepparttar 126167 mind ofrepparttar 126168 child onrepparttar 126169 dry ground and not onrepparttar 126170 puddles.

Have you ever seen a child carrying a full bowl of soup? What isrepparttar 126171 natural reaction?

You shout "don't spillrepparttar 126172 bowl of soup" right? But by doing so, what hasrepparttar 126173 child's mind registered?

Yes, you are telling him to spillrepparttar 126174 soup by focusing his mind on spilling it, then there is insult added to injury when you say "you clumsy kid, why didn't you do what I told you"? So not only doesrepparttar 126175 child feel guilty for making a mess, he or she then gets a negative affirmation as well.

So how do you getrepparttar 126176 child to NOT spillrepparttar 126177 soup? Think what do I wantrepparttar 126178 child's mind to do andrepparttar 126179 answer is "keeprepparttar 126180 soup bowl level".

Focusrepparttar 126181 mind towardsrepparttar 126182 required task, invariably this will focus their mind away fromrepparttar 126183 negative result that you instilled in their mind.

This is a very powerful psychological concept that can be effectively implemented into your internet marketing campaigns. If you want your customers to do something, maybe telling them not to do it may be more effective in certain situations, definitely "food forrepparttar 126184 taught". This approach would also help to instil one ofrepparttar 126185 most powerful action emotions also, curiosity :)

Two very different sides torepparttar 126186 same coin, sit and ponder on this theory for a while, think ofrepparttar 126187 many possibilities and how you could make it work for you and your internet marketing campaigns.

About The Author – Written by Steven Hands “The Mind Manipulation Marketer”. Come join Steven’s free monthly newsletter @ and implement these powerful psychological triggers into your internet marketing game.

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