From an emotional health perspective, dating while going through a divorce can be damaging to you and your "soon to be" ex-spouse. You'll be much more mature after divorce if you self evaluate to figure out how you contributed to events that lead to your divorce. Handling yourself in a caring and sturdy emotional manner during a divorce can be an extremely difficult thing to do...but, it is a terrific growing and learning process. Make use of it! Grow as a person and learn about yourself, and you'll be far better off after divorce is final.

Dating after divorce consideration 4: Consider that you may have a tendency to date someone completely opposite from your spouse and realize that this isn't healthy.

Dating after divorce is tricky! Be smart, realize that pain you may have felt at hands of your spouse can naturally lead you to want to date someone who is an opposite of your ex. It is a reasonable and natural reaction because you might want to avoid having any pain whatsoever or you may not want to deal with anyone who might remind you of your ex-spouse.

If you find yourself looking for someone who is your ex's opposite when dating after divorce, take a deep breath and ask yourself if this tactic is truly healthy for you. If you answer 'yes', then you're saying that there was nothing good about your spouse and that you're a poor decision maker or else you would have never gotten married to your ex in first place!

Instead, think of things you'd like to see in someone that would make you want to date them and look at person in and of themselves only. If you see something in them that reminds you of your ex-spouse, decide whether that something is a good trait or an undesirable trait. Only then can you decide about that person in positive fashion. Your spouse has or had some good traits, define what they are and don't be afraid to see those traits in someone that you are dating after divorce.

Dating after divorce consideration 5: Do what you need to in order to have a positive outlook on your future after your divorce.

When thinking about dating after divorce, and all possible fires that can go with it, keep in mind that you need to feel good about yourself to be lucid. A positive outlook on life is key to everything else, and all future decisions that you will make after your divorce. Go and do fun things with friends and get out! You should certainly keep your guard up but don't be overly critical of everything or you may get so paralyzed be your analysis that you never actually "get in game." Your frame of mind on any relationship - friend or not - after divorce is key factor to your happiness. Keeping a clear head and heart is a healthy thing. If you keep these considerations in mind, you'll have a much better time when dating after divorce.

Karl Augustine

Author of "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce", the eBook recommended by counselors to thier clients.

Deciding on Divorce

When you actually get involved in that serious relationship, you must devote time to it. To do so, you have to give up things that you don't necessarily want to give up. I always believed that we work so that we can have time. We buy time. We work so that we are able to luxuriate in vacations with our loved ones and so we can buy expensive lingerie to keep spark alive. But instead of spending as much time as we can with our sweethearts, we end up spending our time washing car, burning flab in pilates class, picking up cat food and cursing poor slob who broke down in middle of a one lane road during rush hour. We are so greedy and obsessed with our appearance and materialistic needs that we find it difficult to give our own time, our most precious commodity, to someone else. Then again, when we daydream about kind of future life we want, we envision a life surrounded by family and friends, a house in burbs, a loving spouse and children and spending days at home being independantly wealthy. We see ourselves doing what we really want and need: spending time in arms of our darlings.