"Dating After Divorce: Things To Think About Regarding Dating After Divorce"

Written by Karl Augustine

Continued from page 1

From an emotional health perspective, dating while going through a divorce can be damaging to you and your "soon to be" ex-spouse. You'll be much more mature afterrepparttar divorce if you self evaluate to figure out how you contributed torepparttar 136507 events that lead to your divorce. Handling yourself in a caring and sturdy emotional manner during a divorce can be an extremely difficult thing to do...but, it is a terrific growing and learning process. Make use of it! Grow as a person and learn about yourself, and you'll be far better off afterrepparttar 136508 divorce is final.

Dating after divorce consideration 4: Consider that you may have a tendency to date someone completely opposite from your spouse and realize that this isn't healthy.

Dating after divorce is tricky! Be smart, realize thatrepparttar 136509 pain you may have felt atrepparttar 136510 hands of your spouse can naturally lead you to want to date someone who is an opposite of your ex. It is a reasonable and natural reaction because you might want to avoid having any pain whatsoever or you may not want to deal with anyone who might remind you of your ex-spouse.

If you find yourself looking for someone who is your ex's opposite when dating after divorce, take a deep breath and ask yourself if this tactic is truly healthy for you. If you answer 'yes', then you're saying that there was nothing good about your spouse and that you're a poor decision maker or else you would have never gotten married to your ex inrepparttar 136511 first place!

Instead, think ofrepparttar 136512 things you'd like to see in someone that would make you want to date them and look atrepparttar 136513 person in and of themselves only. If you see something in them that reminds you of your ex-spouse, decide whether that something is a good trait or an undesirable trait. Only then can you decide about that person in positive fashion. Your spouse has or had some good traits, define what they are and don't be afraid to see those traits in someone that you are dating after divorce.

Dating after divorce consideration 5: Do what you need to in order to have a positive outlook on your future after your divorce.

When thinking about dating after divorce, and allrepparttar 136514 possible fires that can go with it, keep in mind that you need to feel good about yourself to be lucid. A positive outlook on life is key to everything else, and allrepparttar 136515 future decisions that you will make after your divorce. Go and do fun things with friends and get out! You should certainly keep your guard up but don't be overly critical of everything or you may get so paralyzed be your analysis that you never actually "get inrepparttar 136516 game." Your frame of mind on any relationship - friend or not - after divorce is key factor to your happiness. Keeping a clear head and heart is a healthy thing. If you keep these considerations in mind, you'll have a much better time when dating after divorce.

Karl Augustine

Author of "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce", the eBook recommended by counselors to thier clients.

Deciding on Divorce

Dating After Divorce

Tick Tock Goes the Love Clock

Written by Advice Diva

Continued from page 1
a bottom ofrepparttar food chain job and struggling on a $20K salary. These wererepparttar 136431 days of buying raman noodles in bulk and picking up a bartending job inrepparttar 136432 evenings. You can't even afford to date at this age. And if you could, when would you have time? Finally you get a better paying job and you move up inrepparttar 136433 business world. But now you have entered a whole new social world. You are financially able to droprepparttar 136434 second job, get some new digs without holes inrepparttar 136435 seams and start enjoyingrepparttar 136436 night scene with everyone else. Swiftly you discoverrepparttar 136437 beau monde and your life is consumed with keeping up to date with all ofrepparttar 136438 latest trends, making sure you look perfect in every way and of course making sure everyone thinks you arerepparttar 136439 “it” guy or girl. How can you possibly start a relationship now? He or she might actually find out that your not fabulous. Besides, it is much more hip to have a new fling every week. This isrepparttar 136440 period of our lives where we are all poseurs. After a few years of fun and reckless behavior, you get promoted to a more prominent position inrepparttar 136441 business world. Now you realize your responsibility and you may even take it seriously. Your life might change, but your busy schedule does not. It just gets worse.

When you actually get involved in that serious relationship, you must devote time to it. To do so, you have to give up things that you don't necessarily want to give up. I always believed that we work so that we can have time. We buy time. We work so that we are able to luxuriate in vacations with our loved ones and so we can buy expensive lingerie to keeprepparttar 136442 spark alive. But instead of spending as much time as we can with our sweethearts, we end up spending our time washingrepparttar 136443 car, burningrepparttar 136444 flab in pilates class, picking uprepparttar 136445 cat food and cursingrepparttar 136446 poor slob who broke down inrepparttar 136447 middle of a one lane road during rush hour. We are so greedy and obsessed with our appearance and materialistic needs that we find it difficult to give our own time, our most precious commodity, to someone else. Then again, when we daydream aboutrepparttar 136448 kind of future life we want, we envision a life surrounded by family and friends, a house inrepparttar 136449 burbs, a loving spouse and children and spendingrepparttar 136450 days at home being independantly wealthy. We see ourselves doing what we really want and need: spending time inrepparttar 136451 arms of our darlings.

The Advice Diva has written four self-help guides on relationships and dating which can be found at http://www.advicediva.com She also hosts an online advice column which is completely free of charge. The Diva does not claim to be an expert in any field. However, she has the ability to understand relationships through past experience and her incredible insight.

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