"About 60 percent of time, we find that people aren't telling truth," Alexander claims. Background checks, criminal and civil record checks are important, according to Alexander, because it's easy to be deceived when looking for love online. "You do not have same visual cues about someone as when you are face to face with a person," she says. "Somebody behind a computer screen, can be anything they want to be.

You have no idea who's on other side of that screen. We tell our clients it is important to Be Safe and Be Smart. To take control of your future. Information is key.” A similar check could have helped Wadsworth. For instance, Abney had told Wadsworth that he had never been married, but Alexander found a civil record for a divorce. Alexander says that background and record checks would have revealed that Abney had lied about many personal details, which might have served as a warning to Wadsworth.

"It tells her that man is not telling truth," Alexander asserts. "He's a liar. He has something to hide in his life. I don't know if it tells her that he's going to swing a hammer over her head and that he's going to beat her almost to death, but I think it is enough to say, 'Watch out, red flag, don't let this man in door.'"

These warning come too late for Wadsworth, who is currently taking a break from romance and Internet while she works to recover from physical and emotional wounds she has suffered. "I sleep with light on every night," she says. "It's affected me."

While more and more singles are turning to Internet to meet their mates and many online dating stories do have happy endings, it is important to remember that there are dangers to digital love. Wadsworth hopes that what she went through will help to warn others of those dangers.

WhoisHe.Com and WhoisShe.Com has been widely recognized on CBS’ “48 HOURS" and CBS Early Show; The Other Half,in People Magazine, listed in Yahoo Internet Life Magazine's top 100 sites for Year 2000, Seventeen Magazine, Entrepreneur Magazine, Kiplinger Magazine, and USA Today. Anyone harboring doubts about anyone else can check out website at http://WhoisHe.Com and at http://WhoisShe.Com and questions can be sent to Admin@WhoisHe.Com or call Linda Alexander, Esq. at 760-806-4377.

The anxiety in separation Once it is determined that members behavior within group confines has become detrimental to Group, and all other avenues have not worked, then only solution is to remove member by banning. Then a more interesting phenomenon develops. The banned member, or members then develop a type of severe anxiety separation disorder. They use any means available to re-join former Group. This can be in form of volumes of email to moderators personal email box, solicitation of continuing members for empathy thru an email campaign, a campaign via Instant Messenger, and sometimes, in more overt cases, formation of an online group from which to launch an “attack”.

The attack can either be in form of flaming, plans to ostracize of perceived perpetrator, or repeated vain attempts to circumnavigate blocked board via spawned ISP addresses or newly created identities. Why is it that members, who had previously expressed sincere displeasure with a Group, would go to such extremes to re-join group they were previously flaming? This type of separation anxiety is common. Reality is that there are millions of groups out there for these individuals to join. The only one they are seriously concerned about is one they were just removed/banned from. This separation anxiety can be brief, or can escalate to years of hostility in online environment.

These “fan” clubs are quite common. Since most violate Terms of Service for ISP’s as being primarily “hate groups” they, in short order, find website removed by ISP. But, of course, then group just moves onward and forward to other campsites on internet sometimes as a group, sometimes as individuals.

Conclusion Each Group and group member emerges from a cocoon, both different in acquired skills exiting than they entered. The process of initiative and creativity only determines a starting point. Learned life skills determine balance. The Fan Club is one outcome. There is a more positive one but those involved in this activity rarely grow to solve interpersonal problems as they do not recognize or understand dynamics that lead them down this path.

Kathleen Johnson