Cross Cultural Communication needs… Observation

Large amounts of cross cultural information can be read in people’s dress, body language, interaction and behaviour. Be aware of differences with your own culture and try to understand roots of behaviours. Asking questions expands your cross cultural knowledge.

Cross Cultural Communication needs… Patience

Man has been created differently and we need to recognise and understand that sometimes cross cultural differences are annoying and frustrating. In these situations patience is definitely a virtue. Through patience respect is won and cross cultural understanding is enhanced.

Cross Cultural Communication needs …Flexibility

Flexibility, adaptability and open-mindedness are route to successful cross cultural communication. Understanding, embracing and addressing cross cultural differences leads to breaking of cultural barriers which results in better lines of communication, mutual trust and creative thinking.

Following these five cross cultural communication needs will allow for improved lines of communication, better cross cultural awareness and more successful cross cultural relationships.

People match and mirror each other all time. Go to a public place where people are interacting. How do we know that couple, sitting across from us in a restaurant, are attracted to each other? They are both leaning toward each other; they are making eye contact; they are crossing their legs. If someone were to carefully observe them, there would be numerous ways their physiology matched or mirrored other. This sends a signal to other person, “I’m with you. We are connecting. I’m like you.” It also sends a signal to those who are observing. Have you ever walked into a room and knew people in room were having an intimate conversation, and you felt like an intruder? You didn’t hear their words, but you knew instinctively that you interrupted something. You were reading their physiology.

Imagine you are talking with someone, he glances at his watch frequently, doesn’t maintain eye contact, and he isn’t matching or mirroring. He is sending a signal. It’s not one of rapport. More than likely, you’ll cut conversation short and let him go about his business.

Some people are masters, consciously or unconsciously, of matching and mirroring other people’s physiology. These people are often social, well liked, and popular. But if they are using this skill to manipulate people, they are probably not very popular and are likely to be seen as a fake or phony. This is a powerful tool when used with integrity, but it can backfire if it is used in negative ways.

THE DETAILS

1. Mirroring creates a deeper connection than matching. Matching is more subtle and easier to do. If you wish to establish a deeper connection, you might consider matching first and then moving toward mirroring. 2. Areas to match and mirror: breathing, posture, blinking, hand movement. You can match and mirror more than one aspect of someone’s physiology. 3. Think specifics. If you match someone’s breathing, ask yourself: where are they breathing? High in chest? In middle? Low? Is their breathing deep, shallow, fast, slow? If you want to practice, try doing this with a baby or child who is upset or being hyper. Match her breathing, when you get into sync for a while begin to slow your breathing. If you are in rapport with child, she will begin to match your breathing. Her breathing will slow, and she will begin to calm down. You have changed her physiology and mood by changing her breathing. Be careful with this one, you might find that parents will begin to call you to babysit. 4. Hand movements are important to watch. If a person you are talking to doesn’t use hand movements, note that and don’t use hand movements. Doing so could break rapport rather than establish it. If someone does use hand movements, match your movements to hers. Be aware of what person you are talking to does with her hands and match as closely as you can. 5. Watch head angles, shoulders, how a person sits. I slouch. One of my best friends sits up very straight. When I’m with him, I notice that I tend to sit up straighter. 6. Blinking is one of most subtle ways of getting into rapport with someone. Most people aren’t aware of their blinking patterns. I’ve tried this with people who blink rapidly, and I find it tiring and distracting. I learned something about myself: I don’t blink a lot.

These are a few suggestions. You’ll discover more as you begin to notice other people’s physiology.

Part two explores using tonality and words to create rapport.