KEEP LEARNING AND GROWING

The disharmony we experience in a relationship actually is a message that we have something to learn. We would do well to analyze what we need to learn and make corresponding adjustments in our attitude toward life.

Learning and loving are two reasons for which we have incarnated into these bodies. When we stop learning or loving, our life is less meaningful. The purpose of life is to evolve in our wisdom, love, inner peace, selflessness and creative abilities. Getting stuck and refusing to grow is surest way to destroy harmony in a relationship. From a spiritual point of view, other is our teacher. His or her behavior is exactly what we need at this stage of our lives to learn something about ourselves and free ourselves from some beliefs or behaviors that are keeping us back in our evolutionary process.

We will dedicate a significant part of this book toward clarifying what we need to learn from our partner?s behaviors that disturb us.

SPIRITUAL ACTIVITIES

As our spiritual growth process is basic reason for our existence in physical plane, it is logical that it will be an important part of any successful relationship. Spiritual activity is seriously missing from lives of most families today.

Families could pray or chant together. They could read and discuss spiritual texts together. They could meditate in silence together. They could serve less fortunate in society. Each home can vibrate with love and harmony.

I have unfortunately throughout years witnessed zealous spiritual aspirants who perceive their spouses, children or parents as obstacles to their spiritual growth, believing that their spirituality is dependent upon their following seminars or meditating many hours. It is true that these activities can help, but they should never be reasons to lose our love for those who might consciously or subconsciously obstruct us.

Love and selflessness are always highest forms of spirituality. Parts 3 of this series will contain following subjects: Distinguish Between Other and His Behavior. See Other as Your Teacher. Keeping Promises Unconditional Love Reaching Out Beyond Relationship Develop Your Own Relationship with Divine.

(Adapted from forthcoming "Relationships of Conscious Love" by Robert Elias Najemy. His book "The Psychology of Happiness" (ISBN 0-9710116-0-5) is available at http://www.amazon.com and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com. His writings can be viewed at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can also download FREE articles and e-books.

She had now moved into another extreme of behavior. She was defensive and uncooperative.

Gradually, Anna will realize that real freedom is found in giving out of love and not out of fear. When we give out of fear of rejection, we are not really giving but actually bartering whatever we are giving in exchange for others? acceptance.

Real giving occurs when we know we are free not to give, but chose to give out of love for others.

She will probably then say "Yes" about same number of times she did in past, but now she will be saying "Yes" out of freedom and not out of fear, and she will feel no pressure and will be happy.

How can she manage that? What could her lesson be?

Does she need to realize that she is lovable just as she is even when she cannot respond to what others ask of her?

Or does she need to learn to give as she does now, but out of love and not out of fear of rejection?

Does she need to learn to let others be responsible for their reality?

Or perhaps does she need to realize that she is worthy and lovable and good even when she is not a victim and attends to her own needs?

In this book, we will look into how we can determine what lessons Anna and many others might have to learn, how we can learn them, and how we can communicate more effectively.

(Adapted from forthcoming "Relationships of Conscious Love" by Robert Elias Najemy. His book "The Psychology of Happiness" (ISBN 0-9710116-0-5) is available at http://www.amazon.com and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com. His writings can be viewed at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can also download FREE articles and e-books.