Cracked Up Glossary Of Common Gym Terms

Written by Nick Nilsson


Continued from page 1

11. Olympic Bar - Athleteís nightclub.

12. E-Z Bar - "How dare you! Iím not that type of bar."

13. Squat rack - The lonliest piece of equipment inrepparttar gym.

14. "Itís all you!" - Said by spotter duringrepparttar 118284 last few reps of a set. Translatation: "Itís mostly me."

15. Pro-hormones - Hormones that have lost their amateur status.

16. Meal Replacement Supplement - Cold pizza and warm beer.

17. Clean and Press - Surprisingly enough, itís a shoulder exercise, not laundry instructions. A variation of it is even known asrepparttar 118285 Hang Clean and Press.

18. High Intensity Interval Training - Occurs when there are two or more flights of stairs leading up torepparttar 118286 gym.

19. Skullcrushers - An exercise where you make like youíre going to bash your own head in with a barbell, a.k.a. lying tricep extensions.

20. "Holdrepparttar 118287 contraction atrepparttar 118288 top and squeeze for 10 seconds" - Said by a personal trainer when he or she wants to punishrepparttar 118289 client for missing a session.

Now that youíve got an idea of what is being said atrepparttar 118290 gym, youíll be able to converse comfortably withrepparttar 118291 natives. You will be completely understood in any gym inrepparttar 118292 world when you walk in and say "I just did two sets of high intensity intervals and now Iím ready for some forced reps" or "Iím taking a lot of meal replacement supplements because Iím bulking up."

Nick Nilsson is Vice President of BetterU, Inc., an online exercise, fitness, and personal training company. Check out his latest eBook "The Best Exercises You've Never Heard Of" at http://www.thebestexercises.com or visit http://www.fitstep.com. You can contact him at betteru@fitstep.com or subscribe to BetterU News, his fitness newsletter at betterunews@fitstep.com.


The Lighter Side of Spam

Written by Tim Ward


Continued from page 1

* Become A Catholic Priest In Two Short Weeks

* Here Is The Information You Requested On Llama Breeding

These are just a sample of some ofrepparttar subject lines that I have seen in my inbox. I assume they were SPAM since I don't remember every requesting any information about any of those subjects. Althoughrepparttar 118283 one about selling squid did seem interesting. Which brings me to a question. If you know that an email is SPAM butrepparttar 118284 subject line is just sooo darn catchy, is it wrong to openrepparttar 118285 email? Do I become an accessory to spamming? Am I aiding and abetting known spammers? I sure hope not because truthfully every now and then I open an email that I know is SPAM just to see what it's about. It's just that some of those spammers have gotten so good with their subject lines that I just can't help myself. For instance I'm GOING to open emails with subject lines like:

* Free Fried Chicken For Life

* Fast Hemorrhoid Relief

* Drink ALL You Want And Never Get Drunk

* Drew Barrymore and Tara Banks Want To Meet You (Another quick note to spammers: If you wererepparttar 118286 online law breaker who sent merepparttar 118287 unsolicited email about Drew and Tara could you please send it to me again. I think I accidentally deleted it. Thanks. P.S. If you have anything about Angelina Jolie send that too.)

* Even Faster Hemorrhoid Relief

* Stop Premature Balding

* Legally Get Back All The Money You've Ever Blown On Women

There are some of you who probably think it's deplorable that I admit to reading emails that I know are SPAM. You probably think that people like me arerepparttar 118288 reason spammers keep spamming. You probably think I'm just as bad asrepparttar 118289 spammers. You're probably trying to figure out who my ISP is at this very moment so you can report me. All I can say in my defense is: I'm only human. And I only do it on weekends.

In conclusion, even though I've poked fun at anti-spammers in this article, I do feel that spamming is wrong and illegal. My purpose in writing this article was just to bring a little humor torepparttar 118290 otherwise ever-so-serious SPAM table. Whether you're an avid anti-spammer and a card-carrying member ofrepparttar 118291 Coalition Against Unsolicited Commercial Email or a lazy Delete-It-And-Forget-About-It slacker like me, you'll probably agree that spammers need to stopped. Anyone caught spamming should be punished. And I knowrepparttar 118292 ideal punishment. They should be forced to clean my house and keep my llamas fed while I'm on my 2 month vacation in Uzbekistan with Drew Barrymore, eating fried chicken-hemorrhoid free.

************************************************* ************************************************* The Internet is far too serious these days. You need a break from allrepparttar 118293 gurus and money-making schemes and paid email ads. You also need a new car, a babysitter for Wednesday night, and a good plumber. Unfortunately, I can only help you withrepparttar 118294 Internet stuff. Visit me at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/onlinejester to join my mailing list so you can receive more entertaining articles that poke fun at all things Internet. ************************************************* *************************************************

Tim Ward, the self-proclaimed Online Jester, writes a monthly column that takes a warped look at the World Wide Web. This column is published in his ezine, The Online Jester's Ezine. To find out more visit: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/onlinejester/


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