Continued from page 1
Gradually,
social circle of
narcissist dwindles (and ultimately vanishes). People around him who are not turned off by
ugly succession of his acts and attitudes – are rendered desperate and fatigued by
turbulent nature of
narcissist's life.
Those few still loyal to him, gradually abandon him because they can no longer withstand and tolerate
ups and downs of his career, his moods, his confrontations and conflicts with authority, his chaotic financial state and
dissolution of his emotional affairs. The narcissist is a human roller coaster – fun for a limited time, nauseating in
long run.
This is
process of narcissistic confinement.
Anything which might – however remotely – endanger
availability, or
quantity of
narcissist's Narcissistic Supply is excised. The narcissist avoids certain situations (for instance: where he is likely to encounter opposition, or criticism, or competition). He refrains from certain activities and actions (which are incompatible with his projected False Self). And he steers clear of people he deems insufficiently amenable to his charms.
To avoid narcissistic injury,
narcissist employs a host of Emotional Involvement Prevention Measures (EIPMs). He becomes rigid, repetitive, predictable, boring, limits himself to "safe subjects" (such as, endlessly, himself) and to "safe conduct", and often rages hysterically (when confronted with unexpected situations or with
slightest resistance to his preconceived course of action).
The narcissist's rage is not so much a reaction to offended grandiosity as it is
outcome of panic. The narcissist maintains a precarious balance, a mental house of cards, poised on a precipice. His equilibrium is so delicate that anything and anyone can upset it: a casual remark, a disagreement, a slight criticism, a hint, or a fear.
The narcissist magnifies it all into monstrous, ominous, proportions. To avoid these (not so imagined) threats –
narcissist prefers to "stay at home". He limits his social intercourse. He abstains from daring, trying, or venturing out. He is crippled. This, indeed, is
very essence of
malignancy that is at
heart of narcissism:
fear of flying.

Sam Vaknin ( http://samvak.tripod.com ) is the author of Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited and After the Rain - How the West Lost the East. He served as a columnist for Central Europe Review, PopMatters, and eBookWeb , and Bellaonline, and as a United Press International (UPI) Senior Business Correspondent. He is the the editor of mental health and Central East Europe categories in The Open Directory and Suite101.