Even so, some stalkers are possessed of an uncanny ability to psychologically penetrate others. Often, this gift is abused and put at service of their control freakery and sadism. Stalking – and ability to "mete out justice" makes them feel powerful and vindicated. When arrested, they often act victim and attribute their actions to self-defence and "righting wrongs".

Stalkers are emotionally labile and present with rigid and infantile (primitive) defense mechanisms: splitting, projection, projective identification, denial, intellectualization, and narcissism. They devalue and dehumanize their victims and thus "justify" harassment or diminish it. From here, it is only one step to violent conduct.

This is topic of our next article.

Additional Reading

Zona M.A., Sharma K.K., and Lane J.: A Comparative Study of Erotomanic and Obsessional Subjects in a Forensic Sample, Journal of Forensic Sciences, July 1993, 38(4):894-903.

Vernon Geberth: Stalkers, Law and Order, October 1992, 40: 138-140

Mullen P.E., Pathé M., Purcell R., and Stuart G.W.: Study of Stalkers, American Journal of Psychiatry, August 1999, 156(8):1244-9

Meloy J.R., Gothard S.: Demographic and Clinical Comparison of Obsessional Followers and Offenders with Mental Disorders, American Journal of Psychiatry, February 1995, 152(2):258-63.

Morrison K.A.: Predicting Violent Behavior in Stalkers - A Preliminary Investigation of Canadian Cases in Criminal Harassment, Journal of Forensic Sciences, November 2001, 46(6):1403-10.

 Practice extreme self care: Make time to do what you love - take in a movie, go to a museum, curl up with a book or take a long hot bubble bath. Pamper yourself! This is your life - enjoy it! Don't worry - dishes aren't going to pack up and leave town. Get plenty of sleep - exhaustion is a main factor in stress - and don't over indulge. Enjoy all holiday goodies, but do so in moderation. Add some moderate exercise and you'll be healthier and have more energy.

 Be thankful for little things: Practice loving simple things in life; playing games with your children, taking a walk on a snowy winter morning, or cuddling with your honey after everyone's in bed. When we open our hearts to happiness, we often find that it's all around us.

 Make peace with flexibility: Celebrate you successes and let rest slide. Learn to go with flow. Take a breath, relax. Don't sweat small stuff.

 Embrace spirit of holidays: Greet each day with holiday spirit and fill your life with kindness, compassion, gratefulness and love.

Yes, there will still be hectic moments and stressful events, but you control extent to which you respond to them. Open yourself to possibility that holidays can be joyous, and you might just find yourself whistling along with some of those Christmas carols.