Perspective Knowing what part he played in problems is easy, but you also need to recognize how you contributed. Owning up to responsibility is probably hardest part.

Most women grew up with image of “White Knight” who rides in and takes charge. The princess falls in love and stands behind her man. The only problem is that this fairy tale usually doesn’t have a happy ending because power of choice is removed. You are swept through life by circumstances and decisions of others.

If you can own up to your participation in marriage, you have gained power. For example, by admitting that you stayed in a bad marriage for economic reasons, you therefore, can choose to find a good paying job and leave. When your perspective is one of choice, you gain power and control over your life.

Admitting that you put up with a bad situation out of choice allows you now to make decisions to do things differently in your new life. Once you accept responsibility for your life, be careful to not turn your anger inward. You did best you could in your given situation. It's in past, and you now have power to move forward. Release hold that anger has over helps you to regain control over your life again. You no longer need to feel like a victim, and your self esteem will begin to rise.

For many reasons, couple’s shower (where men and women both are invited) is an appropriate way to celebrate a new baby.

First, new daddy has as much reason to celebrate and to be congratulated as mom-to-be. Second, daddy may enjoy opening presents as much as mom, maybe more so. Thirdly, if baby shower isn't held at their home, mommy will need dad to help load up presents and drive her home. After all, she hasn't had baby yet, and will probably be pretty tired by end of baby shower.

While this may be a new tradition, some men may actually enjoy baby shower as much as women. Although I doubt that most fathers-to-be would ever admit it to anyone, dad has to keep up that "macho" image after all.

It would be a nice touch to include gifts that are special for dad. Even though gifts are usually gifts for baby, and occassional gift for mom, dad wouldn't mind one or two for himself. Just don't let on that you know that. Let him keep his pride.

Generally, anyone who was invited to wedding can be invited to baby shower. Remember, this is a joyous celebration and you should spread joy, blessings and happiness to everyone that has an interest in family.

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