Enlist help of a friend or two. You may feel that you will be able to cope but having support close by will be very helpful should you find that you are feeling too upset to appear.

The Will

It's an unfortunate fact that funerals can often bring out worst in people. Some of most long-lasting family arguments have started at a funeral, with squabbles over who should get what. You may find yourself surprised at just who is able to throw themselves into such arguments, even though they are in midst of their own grief.

You may find yourself being quizzed at graveside. People can be very clever in their approach, offering condolences and then adding innocent question of what deceased has left to whom. You may also find yourself target of malicious comments regarding your 'improved financial situation'. There can be more hidden rivalry within families than most would imagine.

You mustn't allow yourself to be drawn into arguments. Simply pretend to ignore any unwanted comments and questions. If they persist, explain that you are far too upset to think about such matters at moment and that if they've been mentioned in will then they will be contacted in due course.

In case of a will never having been made and where there is any disagreement regarding who has right to what, explain that you will appoint a solicitor to handle estate and explain, as above, that they will be contacted in due course.

The Following Days

Some people find themselves terribly alone in days following funeral, whereas others feel that they never have any time to themselves to grieve. Remember that others cannot read your mind anymore than you can read theirs, they're simply doing what they believe to be right.

If they choose to stay away, they are probably doing so out of respect for your privacy. If they choose to spend as much time as possible with you, this will be because they fear for your ability to cope alone. Explain to them what your needs are. If you need people around you, phone some friends and ask them to visit. If you need to be alone, explain this politely and ask if you may phone them should you need their company. You'll find that most people are very accommodating as long as they understand your needs.

The loss of a loved one is never easy and nobody will ever expect it to be. For some funeral seems to pass as just a hazy memory, leaving a feeling of guilt at not remembering details of this last farewell. Remember that it's memories you have of person when alive that are important, and it's these that will remain clear to you in future. During deep grief it can be very difficult to grasp details of what's happening but this does not mean you didn't care. Quite opposite in fact.

As one famous person said, "There is a sure way to avoid criticisms, be nothing and do nothing. This remedy never fails." True enough.

Take my case.

When I was in first year college, my dad wanted me to shift my course to Physical Therapy because it was in demand in United States at that time. But I wanted to continue my studies in Accountancy. I remained firm with my decision and after some negotiations they finally gave in.

Then there's my love life. Chinese tradition states that Chinese people marry their own kind. (No offense) But I fell madly in love with this Filipino girl. Despite all criticisms, discouragement, and harsh words (pardon me), I defended my love for her. Right now we're going strong and my relatives have respected my decision.

You see, if I have given up easily in any of two scenarios, I would've deprived myself of joy and contentment in my life.

Sometimes other people's words would cut like a knife. But never be disheartened. Listen to voice inside of you. We will never be able to satisfy everybody because each of us is unique. We have our own distinct traits and values. Respect for each other's opinions should be upheld.

With that said, I would like to leave this final message that sums it all up. Follow your heart and happiness will follow.