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Try to create a louder, more persuasive voice that helps you identify an equally believable, more optimistic viewpoint.
Step 2: Regulate your emotions. There are many ways to regulate your emotions and feelings in your life, including being your own best friend, eating well, exercising, playing, listening to uplifting music, getting in touch with a spiritual system, and creating emotional connections with others by sincere listening.
Step 3: Try alternative behaviors. Behaving differently is one of most effective ways to show response flexibility and get different results in your life.
But, doing things differently is not easy! We are all creatures of habit and we tend to continue behaving in comfortable and familiar ways.
One of challenges in behaving differently is, of course, coming up with ideas on how else we can behave differently in various situations.
Start by understanding that much of our behavior is determined by a feeling or emotion we are having—or we wish to have. But a specific behavior does not HAVE to be connected with that feeling.
Try alternative behaviors when you get those angry feelings by asking yourself, “What are some other ways I can deal with this situation?”
Often they include behaviors like taking a brisk walk, assertively communicating with your family member, taking a timeout, picking your battles, or listening to soothing music.
Ask yourself: What are some other ways I can deal with this situation?
Respond vs. react: The difference between “react” and “respond” is “automatic reflex” versus a “thoughtful, reflective response” that considers different ways of dealing with a situation. A reaction is a kneejerk, automatic action. A response, however, is dealing with a situation by considering options and likely outcomes, then choosing best.
Dr. Tony Fiore is The Anger Coach. New anger resources are now available Anger Management for the 21st Century: The 8 tools of Anger Control print and ebook,bonuses www.stopyouranger.com. Check our Anger in the News blog and comment at: www.angernews.com.