Confessions of a Professional Matchmaker

Written by Terri Arnold (a/k/a Spicy Grandma)


Continued from page 1

3) Others had a Wish List for their Perfect Person and expected me to findrepparttar person on that list for them. One divorced man in his late 30's expressed a desire for a woman who had a specific type of nose. (Really!) A never-married woman in her early 30's with pale blonde hair and very light skin wanted a man with very, very dark skin (but not an African-American), who earned at minimum $75,000 per year, was not in Sales, had never been married and had no children. I had twelve men who matched her description in my data base but she found something wrong with each one and refused to go out with any of them. She then complained about my service and was upset because she 'had not had even one date'. AARRGGHH!!! An Indian medical student saw her photo and was instantly smitten. They had many things in common and each was whatrepparttar 101748 other was seeking. He was very excited about meeting her; however, before they met, he wanted a guarantee of a successful relationship which I of course could not give him. They never met and as far as I know, both are still single and searching.....

My advice: Don't shoot yourself inrepparttar 101749 foot! If you are meeting a lot of people and just can't seem to connect, ask yourself if you really want a relationship. Are you ready and willing to be close with another person? If you constantly find fault with others, ask yourself these questions and be a bit more tolerant. Don't expect to find your perfect person because he or she does not exist. Be happy if you find Ms. or Mr. Almost-Perfect. Good luck!



Terri Arnold has a Masters Degree in Counseling and has been a Psychotherapist for over twenty years. She owned and operated a brick-and-mortar dating service for several years. Terri now invites you to visit her popular interactive and personalized 50+ dating community.


How to Increase Your Self-Esteem

Written by Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, The EQ Coach


Continued from page 1

At different points duringrepparttar day, work on your self-talk. Cancel negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts about yourself.

There are many good free resources onrepparttar 101747 Internet. Here is one inspirational site: http://www.unityonline.org/read_daily_dailyword.htm . SelfGrowth.com is another good one, www.selfgrowth.com, and you’ll find inspirational affirmations here: http://www.susandunn.cc/inspirational_quotations.htm .

You would also benefit from subscribing to a good eZine. I have a nice informational and inspirational one, and there are others. Look up “free eZines” on a search engine.

Whatever you do, avoidrepparttar 101748 “victim” stance, i.e., believing that you’re “helpless and hopeless.” There’s an affirmation you can use: “I am able to help myself and I have hope.” Set small goals, take baby steps and look at this as a new, long-term, exciting project.

Work on learning optimism. I have a course on this, and there are other resources onrepparttar 101749 Internet. It’s a state-of-mind that you can learn that increases your chance of success and happiness.

In Emotional Intelligence, we recommend solution-focused problem-solving, not emotional-based problem-solving. Just as in physics, two objects can’t occupyrepparttar 101750 same space, so your mind can’t hold both negative and positive thoughts atrepparttar 101751 same time.

When you find yourself getting negative, “cancel” and put something positive in its place. In other words, distract yourself while you take action to remedy things. The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. Give yourself incremental learning goals, and reward yourself copiously for each thing you do that takes you further toward your goal.

©Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching for individuals, executives and teams, business programs, distance learning courses, the innovative EQ Learning Lab™, and the EQ eBook Library – http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html . Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZine.


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