I also notice many people approach a complaint situation as an offensive attack, feeling they have to lay out all facts and point out all of related dirty deeds. This is particularly true when complaining to a merchant or company when you are asking for a refund or replacement of a product.

Remember a company may be very large, but your complaints are going to be read and interpreted by a person.

If you must complain, think about it first. Make sure you are not feeling victimized, it may cause you to appear as a whiner. Look at facts objectively. Remember truth will often lie somewhere in middle.

The other side will have an opinion, consider what it might be and be willing to acknowledge that you may have played some role in situation.

If it is a co-worker be nice – if it is a company go to person who provided service to you when possible. Do not go to president of company or immediately to BBB. Escalation should only happen when you are unable to achieve results directly – and then escalation should only be to next highest authority – again, not directly to top.

Don’t practice law unless you are licensed to do so and don’t make threats, especially if you are not prepared to follow through. Before you send anything in writing read it with eye of receiver.

These rules will not work in every situation obviously; your department store will have an impersonal refund policy and an address to direct your complaints. But your attorney, doctor, counselor, mechanic, landscaper, plumber and banker will appreciate hearing about your dissatisfaction directly from you, rather than from BBB or another regulatory agency.

The same goes for your co-workers, let them know in non-threatening, non-accusatory language that you would like to see something change. Before you do, make sure you have examined everything from all sides and that it is a legitimate concern and does not represent self-serving interests.

Focus on complaint, watch your own behavior, and leave all of your bridges unburned and all of your relationships intact. Complaining is responsible, appropriate and part of our rights; after all, it was a group of complainers who landed on Plymouth Rock so long ago.

About the author:

Sarah Hightower is CEO of Chandler Hill Partners, the Nation’s leading career search specialists. For nearly 15 years, Sarah Hightower has been successful in helping mid- to high-level executives and professionals outperform the competition.

Heard of affiliate marketing? A merchant who sells a product or a service via a web site pays a commission to anyone (the affiliate) who refers a customer to merchant, when that customer makes a purchase.

This is called affiliate marketing and has become a very big industry on Internet. Many web sites offer affiliate programs that are free to join. To make money from affiliate programs you don't even need to have a web site, but it helps if you do have one.

Your choice of career has effects on your health. People who are happy with their careers live longer and healthier. Take care!

Ingela Berger started her own Internet business Lifestyle Plans in 2003 to inspire others to make reality of their dreams of a healthy and fulfilling lifestyle. Ingela has studied theatre directing, history of art, and leadership psychology. After some years working with art exhibitions and the theatre she is now back at school to become a health and lifestyle consultant.