7. If you have time (e.g. between taking and returning a call), there is a valuable exercise that is useful in all sorts of conflict situations.

a) Take stock of yourself. In your imagination, put yourself in confrontational situation, and simply notice what it is that you are feeling, experiencing and thinking.

b) Put yourself in other persons shoes. Imagine yourself seeing through their eyes, feeling their feelings, and if it is a face to face confrontation, see yourself as they would see you, hear yourself as they would hear you.

c) Step out and step back. See whole interaction with both of you present. Observe this as an impartial observer, with scene at eye level in your mind's eye. If you feel emotional at this stage, simply imagine "switching" that emotion into body of person it would be most appropriate for.

d) And come back.

The valuable thing about this exercise is that it enriches your understanding of communication between you, giving you greater choice and greater objectivity, while allowing you opportunity to empathise with someone in a situation where empathy could otherwise be difficult.

3) When you lose a sale, it's usually right at beginning of sales process.

If you believe that you lose sales because you make a mistake at end of process, take a look back at how you began relationship. Did you start with a presentation? Did you use traditional sales language like, "We have a solution that I believe you really need" or "Others in your industry have bought our solution, so you should consider it as well"?

When you use traditional sales language, potential clients can't help but label you with negative stereotype of "salesperson." This makes it almost impossible for them to relate to you from a position of trust. And if trust isn't established at outset, honest communication about problems they're trying to solve, and how you might be able to help them, becomes impossible too.

4) Sales pressure is only cause of rejection. Rejection should never happen.

Rejection happens for only one reason: Something you said, as subtle as it might have been, triggered a defensive reaction from your potential client. Yes, something you said. To eliminate rejection, simply shift your mindset so that you give up hidden agenda of hoping to make a sale. Instead, everything you say and do should stem from basic mindset that you are there to help potential clients. This makes you able to ask, "Would you be open to talking about issues you might be having affecting your business?"

5) Never chase a potential client--you'll only trigger more sales pressure.

"Chasing" potential clients has always been considered normal and necessary, but it's rooted in macho selling image that, "If you don't keep chasing, it means you're giving up -- and that means you're a failure." This is dead wrong! Instead of chasing potential clients, tell them that you would like to avoid anything that resembles old cat-and-mouse chasing game by scheduling a time for your next chat.

6) When a potential client offers objections, uncover truth behind them.

Most traditional sales programs spend a lot of time focusing on "overcoming objections." These tactics only put more sales pressure on potential clients and also fail to explore or understand truth behind what potential client is saying. When you hear, "We don't have budget," "Send me information," or "Call me in a few months," do you think you're hearing truth, or do you suspect that these are polite evasions designed to end conversation?

Rather than trying to counter objections, you can uncover truth by replying, "That's not a problem" -- no matter what clients are "objecting" to -- and then using gentle, dignified language that invites them to reveal truth about their situation.

7) Never defend yourself or what you have to offer -- it only creates more sales pressure.

When a potential client says, "Why should I choose you over your competition?," your first, instinctive reaction is probably to start defending your product or service because you want to convince them to buy. But what do you think goes through your potential client's mind at that point?

Something like, "This 'salesperson' is trying to sell me on why what they have to offer is better, but I hate feeling as if I'm being sold." Rather than defending yourself, try suggesting that you aren't going to try to convince them of anything because that would only create sales pressure. Instead, ask them about key problems that they are trying to solve, and then explore how your product or service might solve those problems --without ever trying to persuade.. Let potential clients feel that they can choose you without feeling "sold."