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The Ley Lines of a Semi-Retired Drainage System

Written by Holmes Charnley

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And then there wasrepparttar garden of course. I expertly discoveredrepparttar 118204 ley lines that relate torepparttar 118205 drainage system. This should have been done privately.

However, we live in a quiet, semi-retired, semi-detached area, and my trackingrepparttar 118206 drainage causedrepparttar 118207 district net curtains to act as if there was a tornado approaching.

We rentrepparttar 118208 house we currently live in and our landlord is slow when it comes to getting things done, so, in a way,repparttar 118209 metal detector really came into its own when I decided to phone our landlord. There’s a ladder on our roof that has been there all year and it’s been annoying me, so I thought I’d have him on toast. The phone call went like this.

“Hello, Bob, it’s Holmes here. I bought a metal detector today and discovered there’s a ladder onrepparttar 118210 roof. This could attract burglars, surely.”

There was such a pause atrepparttar 118211 other end ofrepparttar 118212 line. I could hear confused steam coming from his ears as he got this mental image of my scalingrepparttar 118213 house with a metal detector.

The ladder is still there. All that’s changed isrepparttar 118214 landlord now seems incredibly wary of me when he collectsrepparttar 118215 rent each month…

Now, where did I putrepparttar 118216 washing machine?

© Copyright Holmes Charnley mmiv. All rights reserved.

Freelance Journalist based in Devon-UK. For more examples of my work, please visit The two most recent pieces have been published in The Guardian (UK broadsheet.) Pieces also accepted by Jack magazine.

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