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On my way home, I thought, “Is this what online dating is? Dating loser after liar, never finding that ‘one’?” I’m not saying that this dude was a loser because he was short. The entire problem for me, exists in fact that he LIED. I can’t stand liars. If he lied about something as obvious as his height, what else would he lie about?
I learned very quickly that when it comes to online dating, one has to be extremely specific about what one wants, and one has to stick to her guns. Not that some of those who read those specifications give a hoot anyway. I put in my profile that I wasn’t interested in dating anyone over 45, and I got mail from men well past that age on a regular basis.
I learned that I had to be assertive almost to point of being aggressive when it came to dating online. I had to say what I meant, and mean what I said. As a result, I’m dating someone (8 months now) who meets every piece of criteria that I set out to find in a man. He’s physically attractive (Yes, it DOES MATTER), and Lord help me, he’s as smart as a computer (brains makes me weak). He’s also an amazing person inside, and he gets along well with my children. We live at completely opposite ends of city, and if it weren’t for bumping into each other online, I’m sure we would never have met.
I chose to think about online dating as follows; when I’m in a bar, and some loser tries out his lame pickup line on me, I have to respond to him in some manner, right? When I’m dating online, I don’t have to respond at all! I have more men to choose from than those in my immediate circle of friends and associates, and am able to choose from as far away as I want to.
If you’re thinking about doing dating thing online, go for it! If you're smart, you have nothing to lose, and absolutely everything to gain.
Copyright 2005 Nicolette Arden All Rights Reserved
Nicolette Arden writes regularly about the pros and cons of online dating, and will soon be a regular contributor with her own column (“Ask Nic”) at Warner Digital Media Inc. (www.warnerdigitalmedia.com).