Years ago, critics in my life, and in my own head, encouraged me to deal with responsibilities – IT profession was best way to support children, and carve out best possible life for myself. The inner critic agreed with them, and I squelched desires to become a professional writer to point, I stopped writing all together for 15 years. Everyone kept telling me that there’s only a one in a billion shot at becoming a successful writer and getting my novels published. I may have bought into it then, but I’ve discovered life is too short not to follow your passion. Therefore, I’m giving it a shot, and trying to write something worth reading. Over years, I’ve managed to get some poetry published; now I want something more. I’ve hired a writing coach, and I’m trying to write something, anything, each and every day. I’ve even started my first novel – one I’ve always wanted to write, but wasn’t sure I was good enough at my art. I know if I don’t try, I’ll never know what it’s like to actually find who I was destined to be, and I’ll live a life full of regrets for having failed to try.

One valuable lesson I will definitely pass on to my children, is to follow your heart, despite all those who try to discourage them. I, for one, will no longer be one of those critics. My son, Sean, is an incredibly gifted singer, song writer, and guitarist. I used to push him to do all he could do to prepare for college, and consider a major in music education, so he could always teach and make a good living, if band thing didn’t pan out. No more will I be my son’s critic, and squelch his dreams as being impossible If he must grow his hair long, and wear an earring, and play music all night, I will not rain on his parade. At least, he will know he tried to use his God-given gifts, and didn’t let them lie dormant.

My daughter, like myself, has passion for words. She writes stories in her free time. Thanks to internet, I can find endless essay contests for her to enter. Sure we’ll all meet with some discouragement and rejection, but we’ll have peace and contentment of doing what truly makes us happy – what we were put here on this planet to do. In this, we will find pot of gold and end of rainbow. If we aren’t rich, at least our spirits will be.

Occasionally, I still manage to beat myself up because I know my mistakes, reactions and wrong choices have adversely affected not only my life, but life of my children. What I am forgetting is that God is bigger than my mistakes, and He can help both my, and my children recover from these mistakes, as I can recover from my parents mistakes. Choosing a path to inner healing isn’t transferring blame to parents or others, it’s opposite. It teaches us not to transfer blame, and stay stuck in past, but to accept responsibility for our own healing process. It frees us from past to live in now, and yearn for a more positive future.

Mom, I love you, and I don’t blame you for being a member of human race, and not being perfect. I couldn’t measure up to a standard of perfection myself. As far as I know, Jesus Christ is only one that can lay claim to a perfectly sinless life. But, through Him, we gain salvation for our sins, so we can go to Father, in Jesus’ name, perfected by His dying for our sins. That is why God offers gift of his forgiveness, and his unconditional love. We just need to learn to demonstrate His unconditional love wherever we can.

My Mom once said as she was being wheeled in for brain surgery, that if she died, she would know she had lived a life where she was loved. I know this is true for me too, and I know I was loved by my mother, and still am. I think so many people need to be showered with love to know God is real, and to feel His unconditional love. If we can all just spread some love whenever possible, whoa, how wonderful. We need to love our enemies, because they are just broken vessels in need of more love too. By demonstrating forgiveness and acceptance to others, and forgiving and accepting ourselves, we can achieve healing we need, and discover who we really are. I am just a person in search of self, with no masks or false selves. We are all want unconditional love – we are starved for it! I have four pets because they’re better at providing unconditional love than I am. That’s why pet therapy is so effective, and people with pets tend to live longer. Animals have perfected something we humans haven’t, and we call ourselves a higher species? We can learn from them, and small children. Even when we mistreat them, they give us back their unconditional love, capable of no less. We learn to be unforgiving and conditional in sharing our love. Pets and children are such wonderful blessings from Lord. They can model unconditional love to us! Wow! God is good!