To create change, make your requests clearly, gently and as soon as you become aware of need. Your requests are more likely to be granted. However, if they are not granted, you cannot demand change.

Making an effective request is definitely a skill. To learn this skill, please read next week's newsletter.

School of Thought III: ---------------------- Produce change at any cost or any way you can. Hold back no weapon in your arsenal. Manipulation, nagging, begging, threatening are all fair game. Don't ever give up because, after all, change is good for your partner.

The Alternative: ---------------- When you request change from your partner to further growth and development, it is often very good for him/her. However, any underhanded attempt will be met with resistance and anger. You will not get change. In fact, things may get worse.

Your alternative is to ask clearly and openly, with love, for what you want. Again, to learn how to do this read next week's newsletter.

If change is something your partner wants for himself or herself, offer support in creating it. Do this for as long as it takes to create change. If answer is no, accept it and deal with consequences, even if consequence leads to end of relationship.

Your Relationship Coach, Rinatta Paries www.WhatItTakes.com

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

Focus requires learning time management skills and creating a career-related support system. You can learn to move toward your dream in fifteen-minute chunks. A coach can help you feel less alone during early stages.

Finally, financial blocks are real, not psychological. I have recommend taking a career freedom inventory to add up all your resources, not just money. Sometimes a unique skill or a dynamite network can substitute for a bulging savings account.

At same time, face your own tolerance for financial uncertainty. Some people sleep soundly with a zero-balance checking account, trusting universe to pay rent. Others get nervous when their checking account falls below five figures -- to left of decimal point.

After years of researching and working with transitioners, I believe complexities boil down to transforming yourself from 3-F to F-M: Forward-Moving.

As you work through each block, you gain a powerful burst of energy and insight. To change metaphors, think of moving a boulder off your ravel lane on a highway. Now nothing stops you from moving full speed ahead! You need your rear view mirror only to see how far you've come.