Let’s take some examples. Craig is unhappy in his marriage because his wife, Gloria, is often angry and judgmental toward him. Craig sees himself as victim of Gloria’s unloving behavior, blaming her for his unhappiness. However, Craig is a equal part of relationship system. He generally reacts to Gloria’s anger with compliance, giving himself up in his covert attempt to control Gloria’s anger. He believes that being a "nice guy" will control her feelings and behavior. So, while Gloria is attempting to overtly control Craig, Craig is attempting to covertly control Gloria. Until Craig starts to speak his truth rather than give himself up as his form of control, he will feel resentful and distant with Gloria. If he has courage to take loving care of himself by speaking his total truth without blame or judgment, and take loving action for himself based on his truth, then either things will get better or they will get worse. The only way Craig will be able to be honest and take care of himself is if he is willing to lose Gloria rather than continue to lose himself.

Marilyn is married to Martin, a non-abusive functioning alcoholic. The problem for Marilyn is that when Martin drinks, which is every night, he completely disconnects from her and she feel very lonely with him. She’s tried in many ways to get Martin to connect to her, but nothing has worked. Most nights, Marilyn just watches TV, feeling sad and alone.

Until Marilyn decides to do whatever she needs to do to make herself happy, nothing will change. If she decides to take classes, get together with friends, join a support group or go to Alanon, she will no longer be a victim of Martin’s decision to withdraw through alcohol. If Marilyn continues to take care of herself over a time - six months to a year - and nothing changes, then she can decide to leave. Or, she can decide to stay and just continue making herself happy. The possibility also exist that when Marilyn stops pulling on Martin to make her happy, he may decide to deal with himself rather than be left alone most of time.

Can this relationship be helped? Maybe. Do your own inner work and find out!

It has been shown that stress is related to a majority of health issues. To simplify, let us define physical, mental or spiritual discord as stress. Stress, i.e., an inharmony or malfunction is always reflected at all levels, no matter where it originates. This demonstrates that parts impact each other and change whole in some way. It also means that we are not an arbitrary collection of separate components. We are an intentional creation of interwoven coherencies, designed as a seamless being. A coherency is a natural connection or dependence, resulting from relationship of parts with each other. Our elaborate, seamless system is at all times meticulously interrelated. Reiki will be drawn to coherency that is communicating a need, and allow information to flow between levels.

A unique feature of Reiki is that it can be easily applied to oneself, making it a resource of self-care. There are no side-effects or contraindications associated with Reiki. It is non-invasive and suitable to every age-group and symptom. Although it is an anomaly to clinical protocols, Reiki provides missing adjunct to allopathic therapies, and psychological methodologies. It amplifies homeostatic response of body's healing systems. Every touch becomes a healing with Reiki-attuned hands! Mentally, it reinstates proper functioning, ranging from cognitive to creative. Spiritually, Reiki accesses soul's intuition, joy and capacity for love. It is also perfect complement to other natural and holistic therapies. Being expressions of universal energy, our food, water and environment benefit from Reiki. It is as natural to life as breathing and as simple to contact and apply. It deepens meditation. Reiki is a life-enhancer to all, whether you seek help or are a helper. It points to a truly integrative healthcare, and a fuller understanding of all aspects of existence.