Coaching is a process, not an event. It is ongoing and consistent way in which we present ourselves, and through which we build and maintain relationships with others. Coaching is not a top-down weapon you use on a subordinate. Coaching is a partnership designed to tap into knowledge, information, synergy, and talents people bring to problem solving process.

A good coach:

• promotes open and constructive discussion
• is comfortable with differences
• uses authority and power sparingly
• is not demeaning or disrespectful of others
• creates a safe environment for interaction, disclosure, and information flow
• shares views, facts, and information in a non-threatening manner
• is open to new ideas, and to possibility that he/she has an incomplete understanding of situation
• focuses on learning and change
• strengthens and empowers others
• maintains high expectations and performance standards
• unleashes motivation and creativity

Coaching skills are not “found,” they are actively “developed” by people who want to lead and be an influence in their organization. Coaching takes some time (but not a lot of time). Time is an important ingredient and you will need discipline to manage all priorities and business demands leaders face today. Extra time isn’t going to come looking for you. You have to think of coaching is an investment.

Coaching also takes energy. You will need to pick your battles and decide what is important and what isn’t. Your coaching effort is an asset that must be deployed wisely.

Coaching takes courage. There is always a risk that someone could feel hurt or take offense when you put microscope on some element of his or her performance. Don’t take reactions personally. You should be more concerned if people don’t react, if they seem indifferent. If you inadvertently touch a nerve, or if people are extremely sensitive, you will need to draw on your support account.

Finally, be patient and persistent. Change frequently happens slowly for people. If you encounter someone who wants to make a quantum leap, it’s a real bonus. Enjoy it, but remember that real work of a leader is helping those who don’t immediately recognize need or opportunity to improve. Keep in mind that when you coach you won’t be receiving accolades and embraced as a hero. Most people need time to process and grasp magnitude of what you are conveying to them.

Learning to be a good coach is a life long journey. The learning you are about to engage in represents a solid step along that journey. Enjoy trip, participate and ask questions in workshop, trust yourself in practice sessions, and learn from your colleagues.

Steven J. Stowell, PhD, is the Co-Founder of the Center for Management and Organization Effectiveness, Inc.

To learn more about CMOE’s Coaching Skills model please contact a Regional Manager at (801)569-3444 and discover what 100,000 managers have learned around the world.