"From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it." (Katharine Whitehorn, “The Office Party,” in Roundabout, 1962)

"At Christmas I no more desire a rose Than wish a snow in May’s new-fangled mirth; But like of each thing that in season grows." (William Shakespeare, Love’s Labour ’s Lost. Act i. Sc. 1.)

"Christmas begins about first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of next year." (P.J. O'Rourke, Modern Manners, 1984)

"For a halo up in heaven I have never been too keen. Who needs another gadget That a fellow has to clean." (E.Y. Yarburg, The Man who has Everything, 1965)

"What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Answer: Claustrophobic" (Anonymous)

HOW TO COOK A CHRISTMAS TURKEY

Step 1: Go buy a turkey Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey (scotch) OR JD Step 3: Put turkey in oven Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey Step 5: Set degree at 375 ovens Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink Step 7: Turn oven on Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky Step 9: Turk bastey Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get Step 11: Stick a turkey in thermometer Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey Step 13: Bake whiskey for 4 hours Step 14: Take oven out of turkey Step 15: Take oven out of turkey Step 16: Floor turkey up off of pick Step 17: Turk carvey Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch Step 19: Tet sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey

(Anonymous)

He once told me he had eaten about every kind of bird there was in state of Florida. Then with a twinkle in his eye he would say, "Course, some you needed ‘bout a dozen or so to make a good sandwich."

He frequently came to my church study, and when he should have been mowing lawn and I should have been busy with church work, he regaled me with enchanting stories of those early days in Florida.

It wasn't long before I could repeat his stories, as well as he. Toward end, he would confuse stories and mix them up somewhat, but I never corrected him. I was tempted, but they were his stories and I figure a man should have liberty in telling his stories any way he pleases.

We would be talking in my office and telephone would ring. We would look at ringing telephone and he would laugh. "Bet I know who's callin'."

He was always right. It was his wife, wondering where her husband was, who should've been home an hour ago.

During my interview at my present church, he was on examining board. All through interview, he sat there just looking me over, not saying a word. Finally, at end he spoke up.

"All I want to know is, Pastor, when was last time you went fishin'?"

At time, I did not know what he meant and mumbled something to effect that I was too busy for such nonsense. He just smiled. A smile I was to come to know and appreciate.

He had a way of saying something to you without ruffling your feathers, but more important, he knew when he had said enough.

Years later I know exactly what he meant.

I'm reminded of a saying of another friend of mine, "Either come apart and rest awhile, or you'll simply come apart."

During these busy days, it is easy to forget how important it is to slow down and take everything in stride. It's same old story; so much to do and so little time.

The Bible states this truth in a wonderful way. "There remaineth therefore a rest to people of God. For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his. Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after same example of unbelief." (Hebrews 4:9-11 KJV.)

If it is true that everyone has a double, I fully expect to meet me coming around a corner, somewhere.