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Like a balloon inflating with hot air, I got ready to blow up at him.
But then something happened. In a moment of unusual lucidity, I saw future before my eyes. This is what it looked like:
First, I’d blow up. I’d express some righteous indignation (in a loud voice). I’d persist until my husband (generally a pretty nice, easy-going guy) admitted that his behavior had been rude and inconsiderate. Then, once my anger was properly validated, I’d forgive him and we could be friends again – but only after I’d temporarily diminished his ego and inflated my own.
In that one lucid moment I realized that I could simply skip whole thing and go straight to being authentic and close. I saw a new possibility – possibility of refusing to be a slave to my own ego. To choose from a deeper, calmer, more authentic part of myself.
I was overwhelmed with a sense of how massively stupid, predictable, automatic and ridiculous this whole pattern actually is.
What part of me saw that new possibility? The part that peeked out through surface of my ego – a little piece of my core.
EGO AND PURPOSE – THE STAGES OF CREATION
The world was created in three basic stages.
In Stage One, G-d’s* Infinite all-pervasive essential light was shining without limit, filling all space. There was no place devoid of it, and therefore nothing could exist aside from it. This is stage of Infinity.
In Stage Two, G-d concealed His Infinite light in order to create an apparently ‘empty space’ in which other things (i.e., universe, us) could exist. This concealment of truth is Stage Two. This is stage of finite, where it became possible for myriad creatures and myriad perspectives, each with its own limited boundaries and parameters, to exist.
Stage Three is merging of infinite and finite. It involves transformation of finite inhabitants of universe. They must move from a state of being which conceals their infinite Divine Source to one which expresses and reveals it.
Like a game of hide and seek, G-d conceals Himself in our finite world and waits for us to find Him. Through this process He can endow us with greatest gift there is – to exist as finite individuals and yet experience a truly intimate relationship with our Creator.
Your ego is central to this process.
Like everything in physical world, your ego hides light of your essence. It is what allows you exist as a separate individual. By blocking out your intrinsic connection to G-d, your true nature and purpose, and essential oneness of universe, your ego allows you to function as an individual. It allows you to have a personal perspective and a personal experience of life. Without it you’d be simply a part of whole.
But this is only beginning process. The ultimate goal is that through your ego - your role as a limited individual with a limited perspective, you will find your way back home.
HOW IT WORKS
We have entered Era of Transformation. This means that you can train your ego-based identity to recognize and align itself with voice of your authentic self. The ego doesn’t have to be defended or suppressed – it can be transformed. Your ego can be used on behalf of purpose for which it was created in first place – to allow you to enhance your relationship with your Creator, express potential of your essence, and fulfill your purpose here on earth.
Your defensive ego-based reactions will probably not go away for now. But instead of being a slave to them, you can use them as impetus to connect to these deeper parts of you. The moment you choose to observe yourself rather than react, to question your own defensive instincts, to genuinely see another person’s point of view, to admit where you may be wrong, to connect with something higher, to be generous with your time, money or resources when you don’t have to, you have made your ego your ally.
In fact, whenever you choose use your body, your mind, your time, your relationships or your possessions to fulfill your authentic purpose - to do something intrinsically good or G-dly - those things, for that moment, are Holy. They have been used on behalf of purpose of Creation. You have created a bit of light through which world’s darkness and concealment will be transformed.
*Since Torah forbids erasing of G-d’s name, it’s customary to avoid writing it out in full. © Shifra Hendrie, Kabbalah of Transformation / www.kabbalahoftransformation.com.
Shifra Hendrie is a professional life coach who works with spiritually-minded people to create breakthrough results in their lives, businesses and relationships. She uses a unique combination of profound spiritual wisdom and cutting edge coaching techniques.
TO DOWNLOAD SHIFRA’S FASCINATING NEW BOOK, “Seven Kabbalah Secrets that Can Change Your Life”, free for a limited time only, go to www.KabbalahOfTransformation.com.