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Ladies: Men may bed a hussy, but they tend not to marry one. They won't bring a wildcat or crazed neurotic home to mother.
For men, physical types vary. Not all gentlemen prefer blondes. Beauty is a matter of proportion. YOU may think your nose/bottom/breasts are too big/small. Don't listen to your neuroses, or female friends who try to subtly undermine you, or lie to you to boost your confidence.
Get a few photos taken of yourself in tight clothes, put said photos in a drawer for a week, then glance at them again.
Your immediate reaction is probably correct one.
Understand that men are in grip of a powerful compulsion. *Any* woman can be attractive to *some* man. You just have to put yourself in his way. Staying at home, keeping to same circle of friends, same routine, won't help. Go to where there are men of calibre you desire. And look at them.
Gentlemen: You have to give impression that you are confident, wealthy, powerful, (and sensitive in private with her). If you don't have these qualities, fake them. Women need to see potential, and origin of word potential is Latin 'potentia', meaning power.
How will you know if a girl is interested in you? She gives you a second glance. Try smiling. If she smiles back, you're in!
It's a myth that men gain women by chasing them. Women assess men, then give big gits 'the come on'. You just need confidence to walk over and say hello.
If you can think of a witty remark, make one. If you can't, just smile. Say hello. Ask a pertinent question. Then listen to what she has to say. Which, if she likes you, will be a lot.
Lastly: don't over-think it. We are attracted to a certain type, with whom we can make a better baby; more robust, healthier, smarter, better adapted to its environment. Other types just don't click with us, 'though we can acknowledge intellectually they are attractive. It's a heart thing, a guts thing, and parts lower down. The head merely gives its assent to a decision already made.
The shame is not that you don't find your onely love; shame is in not making yourself available to your destiny, and giving life your all. Go to!
T. O' Donnell (http://www.tigertom.biz) is an ecommerce consultant in London, UK. His latest project is an ebook on conservatories in the UK, available at http://www.tigertom.com/conservatories-uk/index.shtml.