What You Can Do Be a model of honest relations with others. Discuss with your child what honesty is and is not. Point out, for example, that being honest doesn't mean telling someone you think he looks ugly. Kindness goes along with honesty. Discuss fairness (chances are that your child will bring it up) in different situations. For example, how do we show fairness in our family?

What does fairness mean to community? What were standards of fairness in past? Talk about how you try to be fair in your life and work. What issues of justice have you wrestled with? Your adolescent will be particularly interested in talking with you about these things.

What You Can Do

Teach your child to stop and think before acting on impulse.

Teach your child to tell fact from feeling. Let him know that justbecause he feels strongly about something--such as hitting someone who made him angry-- doesn't mean it'the right thing to do.

Encourage your child to think about consequences of her decisions. Tell her little stories about situations she might face and talk about actions she might take who might be affected by her actions,what might happen because of her actions and what best action might be.

When your child has a problem with a rule, brainstorm together a list of possible reasons for rule. This leads to greater understanding.

Remind your child to pay attention to rules or codes that apply in each situation. For example, rules for behaving in church aredifferent from those for a football game.