What are things in life that really feel like luxury to you? Now is time to identify them, and separate out smaller, less satisfying things you’re paying for that keep you from getting what you really want.

To keep to spirit of fun, I’ve found it's useful to agree to some simple ground rules:

- Make some unbroken wish list time for two of you

- There are no such things as 'silly ideas' or 'waste of money' items during wish list time (that will come later on during a reality-check period)

- No impulse spending during wish list time! Window shop if you want, share a seat in front of computer if you’re looking online... my preference is to go hang out in antique markets and bohemian shopping districts for ideas, but you might prefer to go visit a travel agent’s office or web site. It DOESN'T matter!

- Each partner gets equal time to show off their ideas if they want it.

Being realistic, there will, of course, be a price tag associated with wish list. Also being realistic, not all luxuries cost an arm and a leg, either. If you have iron will to make a strict budget and do without so that you can go hang out in Tuscany for a month next fall, good for you (and yours!) If you're like me, though, it may make sense to make do with lesser luxuries.

Luxury item #3: Keep looking until you find reasonably-priced luxuries that really make your life more worth living, then revel in them!

That's all it takes. If you get this far, you've done a few extremely healthy things. For starters, you've actually talked to your sweetie about money, without it being a crisis! You've spent some time dreaming together. You've examined your debt and thought about what it's costing you. And with any luck, you've found at least one thing you can enjoy without feeling guilty about what it's costing you… because it's an investment in your piece of mind.

Our 9 year-old-daughter stormed out of room, up stairs, and straight into her bedroom as she mumbled and screamed about injustice of it all. Our 13 year-old-son looked at us in disgust while he complained that he’d never be able to watch televisions again because only shows he ever watched were cable-only stations. And my husband; well, let’s just say that he had a moment of television jitters but soon realized something pretty powerful—television shows had become more important than socializing with his family and friends. He realized and later admitted that he had grown accustomed to planning his time around what show was on at what time and yelling at kids to “not” interrupt him.