She remembered her parents arguing often. Her mother felt father did not care, did not want her, and did not participate in relationship or family. Sonya also remembered that her mother was one who started these arguments and did yelling, while her father first listened and then walked away.

Sonya's father did not spend much time with her, but was a good financial support. When her father eventually left, he did not stay in touch. Her mother told her over and over how all men eventually lose interest and leave.

Here is what Sonya wrote for section 2: * Father unavailable, uninterested and avoided confrontation. * Mother argumentative and blaming. * Father not around for me, not wanting me, leaving eventually. * Mother told me all men lose interest and leave.

When it came to Section 3, Sonya copied out responses from previous sections. She came up with following list:

* Jeff was unavailable, uninterested and argumentative. * Ronald was unavailable and uninterested, and avoided confrontation. * Rob was withdrawn, uninterested, and avoided confrontation.

* Father unavailable, uninterested and avoided confrontation. * Mother argumentative and blaming. * Father not around for me, not wanting me, leaving eventually. * Mother told me all men lose interest and leave.

In answering question, "What are similarities between hurtful behaviors of your parents and your past partners?" she noticed many similarities. For example, she noticed that all of men, with whom she has had a significant relationship, ended up treating her way her father treated both her and her mother. Sonya also noticed with a gasp that all of her relationships have fulfilled her mother's prophecy.

In answering question, "Are behaviors opposite?", she noticed that Jeff, her most recent relationship partner, was argumentative. In this way he was opposite of her father and more like her mother.

Here is Sonya's Section 3: * Father unavailable to me and mother; I find men who are not available. * Father was uninterested in mother and me; I find men who lose interest in me. * Father avoided confrontation; two of three relationships were with men who avoid confrontation. * Father left; I attract men who eventually leave. And mother told me they would.

* A man who is argumentative is opposite of my father, but just like my mother.

Finally, Sonya came to Section 4. What kind of a relationship pattern was she programmed for? The answered seemed obvious: exactly kind of pattern she has been living out, where men with whom she's in a relationship become unavailable, lose interest and eventually leave. She is programmed to have relationships that are domed to fail because she is with partners who cannot work through relationship for fear of confrontation.

She had to answer "yes" when asked if she was repeating her parents' relationship pattern in her own relationships. She also had to answer "yes" when asked whether she was doing opposite of her parents. And she realized that doing opposite got her same exact result.

Here is Sonya's Section 4: * I was programmed to have a relationship pattern where my partner will become unavailable, losing interest in me and eventually leaving. * I am exactly repeating pattern in my parents' relationship. * Sometimes I have done opposite of my parents' relationship, but got exactly same result.

If you do exercise yourself, I'm certain you'll have some great realizations, perhaps even a sense of relief. You will better understand why you attract and are attracted to certain kinds of partners. You will understand your relationship pattern. And in understanding your pattern, you will be able to break it and break free.

Your Relationship Coach, Rinatta Paries www.WhatItTakes.com

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

Determination and willpower are traits you need to reach your goal when you have a burning desire and you've made decision to take action and make something happen. There may be obstacles on way to your goal, but strength of mind and fortitude can help keep you on track. It doesn't matter how fast you are moving toward your goal as long as you keep moving in a positive direction. You should be resolved to turn your desire into a reality no matter what it takes.

Discipline can sometimes be hardest D to handle. We may have best of intentions, but a moment of weakness can throw us off track. It takes self-control and restraint to make sacrifices and stick to plan we decided upon. Every so often, we have to be strict with ourselves and remember that goal we seek is worth effort. If it becomes too hard to follow plan, we might need to revise plan or time it takes to get there.

Usually, what we desire most, is not goal itself, but benefits that we experience when goal is reached. The following is a list of some goals and possible benefits:

Goal: lose weight Benefit: look/feel better, more energy Goal: plant a garden Benefit: fresh food, exercise, nature Goal: learn to play golf Benefit: exercise, recreation Goal: buy a motorhome Benefit: travel, family outings Goal: work at home Benefit: freedom, more time with family Goal: make more money Benefit: better lifestyle, prestige

Take a moment to think about your desires. Chances are good that you have desires that are strong enough for you to make decision to take action and make things happen!