The first thing you need to do to get complete is to feel all of your feelings, no matter how unpleasant they may be. How do you feel about your past relationships? Have you swept your feelings under rug? Are you still secretly pining for someone? What are you afraid of in regards to relationships? Who are you still angry with?

In order to allow yourself to feel, you have to know that feelings, unless they are of clinical depression or criminal rage kind, will not kill or hurt you. Most people have either not had permission or never slowed down enough to feel their feelings. You must give yourself both time and permission if any completion is to take place. As long as you don't let yourself feel, you will recreate exactly what you had in past. If you want something different -- a fulfilling relationship -- you can't afford to recreate past.

Right now, check in with your feelings and make a list of all people and situations you need to complete. We will come back to this list.

The second thing you need to do to get complete is to take action. Look for a list of ten action steps in next week's newsletter.

Your Relationship Coach, Rinatta Paries www.WhatItTakes.com

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

6. Reexamine Reexamine situation from vantage point of present. How did you grow as a result? Was there a hidden gift in going through experience? What did you learn from situation? Repeat until you can feel gratitude toward situation and other person.

7. Own What Happened Take responsibility for it and figure out how to prevent a similar situation from happening again. Answer following questions at length in your journal: How did you contribute to situation, specifically? What motivated you? What did you ignore or not communicate? How will you respond differently next time at each of key junctures?

8. Create Completion by Understanding Look at other person's motivations. You do not have to approve or agree. Simply understand. Answer following questions at length in your journal: What made his/her actions inevitable? Did he/she have a true choice? What would have had to be different in order for his/her actions to be different?

9. Repair Damage or Loss Actively repair damage or loss. If something of yours was taken, replace it with an item just as good or better. If you were emotionally hurt, give yourself kind of support, acknowledgement, and love you wanted from other person. Ask trusted others to provide you with emotional support you needed and did not get.

10. Talk to Spirit of Person Sometimes our relationships go so wrong and so much hurt is created that it is difficult to imagine person giving us understanding we need to get complete. In these cases, imagine having a conversation with person's spirit, attentively listening while you say everything you need to say. Even when person may not be able to hear you, their spirit always will. Repeat this process until you are complete.

These steps will help you put your past to rest. You will be ready to start working on attracting your ideal Mr. or Ms. Right -- figuring out and then breaking your relationship pattern.

Your Relationship Coach, Rinatta Paries www.WhatItTakes.com

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"