Deb Matthews in "True Christian Stories": "There was just one problem with church! At end of song services, pastor would always tell congregation, 'Turn around and shake hands with someone, or if you're a woman, give another woman a hug.' Most of time, I would just shake hands with people around me, or a woman next to me might just put her arm around my shoulder and give me a gentle sideways hug. But there was this one woman that went all over place giving these big bear hugs to everyone, man or woman. I got to where I would check out where she was sitting and make sure I was a long way away from her. But it didn't seem to matter where I sat -- she still seemed to end up over where I was and give me one of those smothering hugs. The church was great except for all that hugging business." [she goes on to explain how she "overcame" her dread of being hugged !]

IT'S NOT JUST THE HUGGING

It's not just hugging. Merilee recently visited a friend in Alabama and was taken to a Sunday service. There was a huge video screen in front of room which scrolled lyrics to hymns, members of congregation got up to get coffee or cold drinks whenever they wanted, there was a live band with guitar, saxophone and keyboard, and an elaborate sound system. Merilee is an infp introvert and she said it was a bombardment of sounds, lights and people which kept her separated from any sense of spiritual. The children were elaborately dressed in expensive Victorian era clothing and, although truly adorable, their presence in service was also a distraction to Merilee's sense of divine.

Elle explains in her GARDEN BLOG, "When I got to church, opened door and saw room full of unknown people, I remembered my usual madness. I froze. I stood at door, surveyed room and was overwhelmed. These were my initial observations. It was loud. Way too loud. There was singing, shouting and dancing and I made a mental note to pinch Xxx for not getting me there and seated before hoopla began. This was a small room and a small congregation. There were musicians, a few people (not enough to be called a choir) singing and I was instantly uncomfortable. Not that I have a problem with praise and worship, but my few experiences with church have been very different. Usually there's a very quiet service where people give 'talks'and a choir sings a celestial rendition of Onward Christian Soldiers. This was not that."

Here are critiques of three churches in Maryland by someone who identifies himself only as "Bob". I have taken out all references to denomination so, exclusively on basis of form of service, which of these churches would you like to go to?

CRITIQUES

Church 1 Excellent musical accompaniment to service was performed by a choir of 12 men, percussion, electronic keyboard, saxophone and guitar. This first class entertainment was applauded during service and some songs got deserved standing ovations. Hugging happy greeter. Church started late because of talking and socializing. Laughter and applause joined energetic sermon.

Church 2 Mostly older adults. Some local families. College students. This is church for Xxx College. Wooden pews. Small choir. Everyone sings. Flute and piano. Quiet. Everyone is attentive. Impromptu humor. No pressure to join. Educational lecture as part of service.

Church 3 The ritual to follow and hymns to sing are printed in handout for everyone to easily participate. All hymns from 18th century. Folding chairs. Mostly adults. Individuals. No hand shaking during service. Easy to hear. Visitor may remain anonymous.

If you picked #2 of #3, chances are you're an introvert.

Despite humorous title of this article, excessive friendliness during worship seems contrived and uncomfortable to many introverts and may be keeping us away from communal worship in droves. If this is case with you, I encourage you to look further afield until you find a temple, church or synagogue that hnors intoverted way! And don't forget to be heard. We have a voice and it's a legitimate one. How will they know if we don't tell them?

I felt as if I was in a trance. Time went by, but I don’t know how much. I just stood there. I could still perceive objects around me, but it seemed that they were far away. It was as if I was looking into realm I was in, but actually I was now in another. I began to see most beautiful garden filled with fruit trees, and magnificent flowers. The sun was so bright, but I could look into it. It didn’t hurt my eyes to gaze at it. My body started to feel warm, but it was a pleasant feeling. I felt as if I was floating, and I let myself go. The thought came to my mind that I was dying within six months, so I had nothing to lose by surrendering myself to this feeling.

I came to a lake that was color of sapphire. It was calm and serene, as I watched it flow of waves ripple before me. There was no one else here, not even an animal. It was only nature portraying itself to me. I sat down on grass that was as soft as cotton, and just watched water. As I did this thoughts came to my mind of my life. I saw how I treated my neighbor other day. It was not very hospitable of me. I saw that I had so much bitterness in my heart for things that happened in my life. I then saw my face in water for it had become transparent like a mirror. I could see this ugly scowl on my face, and thought to myself how grotesque I looked.

As I saw these things I began to experience great pain in my body. It was excruciating. I held my stomach as that was where most of pain seemed to be coming from. I thought of cancer in my body at that moment, and how it was ravishing my insides. Attacking every organ of my reproductive system, and there was nothing I could do about it. I could get treatments, chemotherapy, or even surgery, and hope that it would solve problem; but I had no means for any of them. Now I felt emotion of anger well up in me. I felt betrayed and abandoned by God. How could He allow this to happen to me? Didn’t He see all my good deeds that I have done? Does He not know that I am an active member in my community? This is not supposed to happen to people like me, but to those who are mean and never think to say a kind word to another person. That wasn’t me!

It was then for first time in my life I heard God speak to me. Don’t ask me how I know it was Him. I just knew that it was. He told me that what was occurring on inside of me was due to things I had been doing on outside. For years He had been calling me, pleading with me to come to Him, but I refused. Now I was alone, and there was no one I really trusted. He wanted me to trust Him. This was my only hope for restoration. He told me I had this type of cancer because it involved my reproductive system. This is how a child is brought forth, and when there is any malfunction in that area, it is impossible to conceive. He showed me how my bitter thoughts had gone unnoticed for so long. They had become a part of my being, and was now producing cancerous thoughts in my mind. I could no longer produce or even conceive positive thoughts about myself, let alone for someone else. This was reason for distrust.

He was more concerned with mental cancer that was ravishing my mind than He was about physical cancer. It was at that moment I broke down and cried. There were tears that I didn’t realize I had in me. It was like a dam opening up, a fountain overflowing, a pipe bursting. My insides began to quake, and I screamed at top of my lungs, “forgive me, God.”

Suddenly, there was a bright light, and then I passed out. When I came to, I felt a warm sensation in my belly. It felt as if there were hands inside my belly moving. It was as if someone was performing surgery on me right then and there. I then recognized that I was back in my living room lying on floor. Just then door opened and my kids came in. They came over and helped me up onto couch. They were concerned that I was lying on floor, and asked me what happened. I relayed as much as I could to them, but they only stared at me bewildering. I remembered last words I said to them before my family showed up at door. “I am healed of cancer!” I knew it with all my heart and being. When I let go of all those negative emotions that were eating away at me for 20 years, a miracle took place in my body.

That day a miraculous feat was performed in my consciousness that forever changed my way of thinking. It changed whole course of my life. It was another chance to be woman that I was destined to be. I am grateful for another chance at life and vowed that I would not waste one minute of it. It was confirmed by doctors that a miracle was truly performed in me. They too have to a greater reverence for unknown. May we all come to place of surrender, and know that joy of true reality of life is within us.