Together, Josie and I started integrating some exercises into her life. Meditation was one of them, but Josie only had very limited time available. There had to be practices she could integrate during her normal daily activities. She finally settled for two specific ways. She stopped multitasking! In an interview Maya Angelou describes how multitasking doesn’t really serve us. She was cleaning vegetables and watching her granddaughter play, when she suddenly cut her finger. Because she was doing two things at same time, her attention wasn’t fully focused on what she was doing and result was that she damaged herself physically. To become present, she put both hands under faucet and put all her attention to one thing she was now doing. She fully enjoyed feel of running water over her skin and with that she was fully present. Josie took this example to heart and made commitment to really focus on what she does, one thing at a time.

The other way that Josie uses to become fully present is from Eckhart Tolle’s book ‘Stillness Speaks’. He gives example to look at a tree and simply observe it standing. You don’t have to describe it, just look. The tree doesn’t do anything, it’s not taking action or trying to reach a goal or pretend that it’s something it is not. A tree just is. And when you observe it, you connect with that same stillness of being present. Another client told me about her experience. She said being present not only relieves tension, it’s much more personal than that. ‘Being fully present, to me, is a very personal peaceful and calming experience.’ For myself, being fully present is an incredibly intimate and vulnerable experience, but without fear of getting hurt. Fear is mostly about ‘perceiving’ painful possibilities, which are projected in future. Therefore, when you are feeling fearful, you are not being present.

Josie started using these techniques, including some other ones as well. She reported back to me a couple of weeks later. She felt more peaceful and more in control of her life. Over next few months she got very good at stopping that running old tape. This enabled her to focus on projects that had been waiting for her, one by one. It allowed her to see results, which ultimately made her feel much better about herself!

Now I am challenging you to observe your thoughts this week. Simply notice how often your mind drifts off… again and again! No more multitasking; you are then diverting your attention, which makes you really not as efficient in living as you think you are. Just pull your attention back to what you are doing at that moment. Because, whenever you notice you’re not present, in that moment you are present. Amazing how that is!

While I was working with Barbara, a client, I noticed in our conversations that she quite frequently brought up judgments in managing one of her employees. She’d managed many people over years and never had any real specific problems, but somehow this person wasn’t ‘going along with program’, as she said. This person was put under her leadership against her wishes and now she had to deal with him. The employee did things that were, to Barbara, unacceptable. He finished projects too late and did an abominable job with it… Not following guidelines and leaving suggestions and feedback unused. The more Barbara complained about this person, more I saw mirroring between her and her employee. A sore point in Barbara’s own work situation was lack of communication and trust she felt from her upper management, which made her doubt herself. When I explained to Barbara principle of mirroring aspects, she immediately drew parallel between her situation and her issue with her employee. She, in fact, was not communicating clearly her expectations to her employee, whom, like Barbara, didn’t feel trusted by her to come and ask for input! Understanding these dynamics helped Barbara create new and improved relationships with all her coworkers, based on more open communication and trust.

In our own lives when we look at what our anger towards others actually has to teach us, we may find out that it helps us realize that someone oversteps our boundaries. Or if we, for instance, get very nervous before a public speaking engagement, we may realize that anxiety actually aids us by making sure we prepare well in advance.

So next time, when you become aware of a ‘negative’ quality in yourself, instead of judging it as a flaw, turn on your own Inner Light and see how or what it actually has to teach you about yourself. You are, in fact, your own best teacher.