As therapists, we can certainly wonder why this hadn't happened as a result of my training and my time in therapy. After all, I had been exposed to hundreds and hundreds of intimate stories over 15 years. My hunch is that while in treatment room, I, like any paid healing professional, saw myself, to some extent, as being in authority position. This may have reinforced some natural biases that I carried with me from my childhood. I think I continue to withhold some deep level of empathy, still seem myself as being apart. When interviewing women, however, I was automatically their equal, and that placed me differently. Having privilege of listening to 18 women, began to listen to other women's voices with less bias and value judgments. For example, I had always valued certain capacities, such as pragmatic decision-making and capacity to carry through once a decision had been made. This is a capacity which can be restricted for women. After this glimpse into girlhood dreams and shattered hopes of many of women interviewed -- compromises made with life and painful, yet successful ways of salvaging one's soul after many lost opportunities -- I was able to cross a barrier and join them at some level of womenhood -- removing my old iron bars, my negativity and judgments.